July 2001

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 1 July 2001

Stephen Cornfoot is Orpington’s son

Not just an assistant — here’s what we know.

Humphrey Winfield-Hayes
@mugglebornslyth 1 July 2001

Congratulations, Mr Cornfoot! You’re going to be a very rich man. If you don’t go down for murder, of course.

Hannah Abbott
@toomanyshoes 1 July 2001

RP: The morning after

Who: Hannah Abbott, Blaise Zabini
Where: 8 Hufflepuff Way
When: Morning

Hannah was sprawled rather comfortably across someone’s chest when she began to float towards consciousness. That wasn’t terribly strange, though. Just because she wasn’t much of one for lifelong commitments didn’t mean she booted men out of her bed or fled theirs immediately after sex. She liked to think the men she slept with were men that she at least liked enough to spend the night with. Just barely cracking her eye open proved that she was, in fact, in her own bed. Usually she wasn’t, but it wasn’t completely unheard of.

Sighing, she let her eye drift closed again. She hadn’t had any coffee yet and it was too early to contemplate the complexities of the morning after a one night stand right now. She’d think about it in an hour or two.

Read more

Hannah Abbott
@toomanyshoes 1 July 2001

Let’s think about this for a second, people, okay? Yeah, Ste’s hair may have been on Orpington’s body, but he was also Orpington’s personal assistant. I’m pretty sure my hair could be found on Kirley any damn day of the week. That’s what happens when you’re in close proximity to someone all the time.

If any PA in this town was going to flip out and kill their boss, it would have been me. You should see how Kirley pouts when he runs out of hair product. You’d want to kill him, too.

Stella Chambers
@quidditchstar 1 July 2001

VICTORY!!

Barney is the best partner ever! Clearly I taught him well!

Wendy Wickersham
@cutitoff 1 July 2001

Well, that was certainly unexpected.

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 2 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Susan Bones
From: Astoria Greengrass

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Portia Diggle
@portraying 2 July 2001

I’m starting to feel like work is blurring into real life. The last two months in Helga’s Hill have been uncannily like something out of Charmed Life. Indeed, it’s hard to say which is more thrilling. But as unexpected as Sunday’s revelations were, they’re nowhere near as interesting as the rumour currently going round the WWN offices at the moment. I can’t say too much, as it’s only a rumour, but if it turns out to be true then a lot of people are going to be very excited.

Stephen Cornfoot
@beforeitwascool 3 July 2001

To clarify, yes, I went to the Ministry for questioning yesterday. No, I wasn’t arrested, as was suggested to be when I went to Golden Apples this morning.

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 3 July 2001

Well, if I couldn’t win, at least the prize went to a fellow rich person. Too bad I’ll have to knock one charity off my subscriptions this year, but whatever.

Wayne Hopkins
@awkwardsoup 3 July 2001

My flatmate just left a wad of hair the size of a small kitten in the shower. He hasn’t even got that much hair.

Has he been saving it up, carefully, for this moment? Did he import it specially, like for decor? Maybe he thinks it gives the place a certain ambiance?

Audrey Singh
@esfp 4 July 2001

It’s okay. Nobody was hurt.

Cynthia Hopkins
@cynthia 5 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Wayne Hopkins
From: Cynthia Hopkins

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Lavender Brown
@solavish 6 July 2001

I AM SO EXCITED THAT THE CURL & THE FLAME IS GOING TO BE ON THE WIRELESS!!

Hannah Abbott
@toomanyshoes 7 July 2001

Happy birthday to my best friend (whose door I am standing outside of right now with cake and pressies, so she’d better open up)!!

But honestly, everyone, Susan Bones is a better person than all the rest of us combined. Try to do a good deed today in her honor or something.

Daisy Radford
@daisysdad 7 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Susan Bones
From: Daisy Radford, Henry Radford

Matilda Vane
@likemattie 7 July 2001

Does anyone know of a cruelty-free way to get rid of a boggart?

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 7 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Sabina Capper
From: Astoria Greengrass

To: Cary Robards
From: Astoria Greengrass

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Felicity Eastchurch
@candyfliss 8 July 2001

RP: Fire

Who: Tamara Crumb, Felicity Eastchurch
Where: The Fat Fryer
When: Lunchtime

Felicity had had a very, very late night on Sunday evening when what she’d thought was going to be a routine physical training had turned out to be an unexpected exam on stamina, quick-thinking, and crisis mediation. As such, the trainees had been told to take the morning off and come in for some hard work around two. She’d woken up feeling hungover even though she hadn’t had anything to drink and decided that a nice basket of fish ‘n chips would be just the thing to replace all the calories she’d burned the night before.

There were plenty of people milling about the shop by the time Fliss made it to the front of the queue to order. “Morning, Tam,” she said with a smile. “Surviving?”

Read more

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 8 July 2001

I heard there was another fire? At the Fat Fryer? What’s going on? I don’t trust the outside world when it comes to Helga’s Hill rumours.

Tamara Crumb
@tamara_crumb 8 July 2001

Bob wants you all to know he didn’t start the fire at the Fat Fryer today and that they’ll be closed for a few days while clean up and repairs go on.

Ernie Macmillan
@topgeek 8 July 2001

What a weekend.

First, the good — Megan and Susan’s birthday beach barbecue! Lovely people, lovely weather, lovely food. Even Zacharias failed to say anything idiotic.

Second, the bad — a crapstorm at work on a Sunday night, due to unnamed actor #1 threatening to go public with unnamed actor #2’s shenanigans, the most egregious of which was that actor #2 was not a real redhead, which would supposedly make her ineligible for the choice role in Curl and Flame. Actor #2 counter-threatened by revealing actor #1’s real age. It took hours to make them both act like adults. People were hexed. Memories were wiped. Owls were intercepted.

And now it’s Monday morning and we’ve been inundated with requests for representation. Yay, business?

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 8 July 2001

Hope you had a great time at your party, Fliss. Many thanks to Louisa for organising it. I didn’t know someone else was also going as the Hatter or I would have picked another character. Ah well.

Honestly I don’t blame anyone for not trying the tea that came from the tea-pouring trick, down one sleeve and out the other, but it was perfectly safe, and no, it was not scalding my arms, Andrei. Dad stitched all the charms into the jacket for me after I asked him how I would go about doing it and he lost patience explaining. Five different charms working in unison! Merlin.

And I apologise that the tea that came with the other trick, pouring tea out of a teapot complete with cup and saucer, tasted too much like porcelain, but I’m sure I can perfect that later.

Happy birthday!

Susan Bones
@ambrosial 9 July 2001

I’d just like to say a big thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday on Saturday! I had a lovely time at the beach, and the barbecue was a perfect way to finish the day. (There’s something so summery about the smell of smoke caught in your hair and clothes.) And, of course, thanks for my presents! The chocolates are all gone (already, I know! I’m terrible, sorry) but my new cauldron and measuring scales have pride of place in my workroom, and I know they’ll last me for years to come. There’s a big batch of after-sun lotion simmering away at the moment — I have a feeling we’ll all be needing more of that in the weeks to come, with this hot weather set to continue. (Although I would much prefer it if people didn’t get burnt, obviously. But the after-sun works as a normal moisturiser too, so by all means slather it on after a day in the sun if you’re feeling a bit hot and bothered.)

Oh, and if you did a good deed as per Hannah’s suggestion, then well done and thank you! You should feel proud of yourself.

Stephen Cornfoot
@beforeitwascool 9 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Lavender Brown
From: Stephen Cornfoot, c/o Whoops-A-Daisy

Lavender Brown
@solavish 9 July 2001

I had the most beautiful flowers delivered to me at work today. A certain someone is the absolute sweetest!

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful day!

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 10 July 2001

Up in flames — another fire in Helga’s Hill

The DMLE announces that the fires are now officially being investigated as arson

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 10 July 2001

Higher Grounds will be closed until further notice. For once, I’m speechless and I’m not quite sure what I’m supposed to do now.

I suppose I need somewhere to stay? And clothes. And to stop shaking.

Katie Bell
@heatproof 10 July 2001

Another day, another fire in Helga’s Hill.

Seriously though, I’m getting pissed off with this so-called serial arsonist. Not because I got burnt helping to put out the one at Higher Grounds today, but because it’s a really dick move to pull.

Whoever you are, grow up and get some perspective before someone gets seriously hurt.

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 10 July 2001

How come the person setting the fires hates food so much?

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 10 July 2001

It’s been a while since the Prophet speculated about anyone new being the notorious Helga’s Hill murderer. I do hope they’re OK down there and haven’t been affected by the Scrofungulus bug going around London. I might have to send them a ‘get well soon’ basket.

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 11 July 2001

Is Serial Arsonist in Helga’s Hill Also Orpington’s Killer?

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 11 July 2001

Arson? Arson now? Really? Who is this miscreant? Fuck Azkaban, once we find out who you are we are going to string you up in the town square and beat you with sticks.

Anyone who has been displaced by the fire is welcome to reside at Smith Manor while their homes are being restored. As for loss of income from commercial properties, sorry, unfortunately I can’t help you there.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 11 July 2001

The damage to Higher Grounds (and our flat) is pretty serious, so I’m very sad to say that we will be closed for a while. We lost basically everything in the coffee shop, but I just want to assure our lovely loyal customers that we will be back in business as soon as we possibly can, though there’s all sorts of things to do with insurance and builders and inspections before that will happen. We love Helga’s Hill and want Higher Grounds to come back even better than before.

My parents are going to go and stay with my brother Alistair in London, but I’ll be staying in Helga’s Hill for the time being.

Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 11 July 2001

I just want to warn anyone not to worry about the tail I’m currently sporting. Side effect of the job, and it’ll fall off soon enough. I’m just going to enjoy it while I have it.

By the way, arson? Couldn’t you come up with something that I’m not scared a little more creative?

Idris Robards
@gawainrobards 13 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Taliesyn Robards
From: Idris Robards

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Romilda Vane
@loverommie 14 July 2001

I have new shoes for work and they glow under the lights at the Grotto. Today, however, is a day for sandals and short skirts in the sun.

SISTERS — I will be out in the garden sunning myself and going over a nice fat book of potions. That jug of purple liquid in the kitchen is lavender lemonade, not a potion, so help yourselves. xxx

Susan Bones
@ambrosial 15 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Portia Diggle
From: Susan Bones

Humphrey Winfield-Hayes
@mugglebornslyth 15 July 2001

Saw another house damaged by fire. 9 Hufflepuff Way. I don’t think anyone was inside but commiserations to whoever lived there, I suppose. It looks pretty bad. Hope you didn’t have anything valuable.

The last one at Higher Grounds next door really spooked the boss and every since I’ve been living a double life — urbane antique salesman by day and paranoid fire warden at night. Hard to say no to a little extra cash but being there means I can’t go to London so all up I’m probably worse off, fuck as it seems one’s home can go up in flames at any moment. I may as well be sleeping there — actually I am sleeping there, as he said I had to be present but he didn’t say I had to stay upright.

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 15 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Cary Robards
From: Astoria Greengrass

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Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 16 July 2001

I do not like all these fires they are sad and a little bit scary. So I made strawberry shortcake from the strawberries I got at Barney’s farm for anyone who wants some!

I also think we should put a group together to help fix up the houses and shops that need fixing. I know there are probably insurance things and people will get hired but we can help clean and paint and be helpful! I thin Helga would want us to.

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 17 July 2001

You know I had my own fire a few days ago when I tried to cook myself a steak and after it was put out the DMLE sent someone around to ask me about it and I had to explain everything and it was so embarrassing and given that people have lost homes because of fire I think I don’t actually want to talk about this at all, Merlin, how insensitive can you be.

Good on the British summer for actually making an appearance this year. The season has ended and all the players have gone away. I’m basically twiddling my thumbs till September. No, I don’t know if Viktor Krum is going to come to Caerphilly. My guess is probably not. But if he did sign I’d be reading about it in the paper like everyone else because I bet Imogen is keeping me out of the loop deliberately.

I can’t believe I find idleness so boring now. I’m even thinking of auditioning for Curl and Flame because why not? It’d pass the time.

Does anyone want a hand fixing up their damaged homes? I’d be happy to help.

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 17 July 2001

I touched a finger today. A finger that was not attached to a body. A HUMAN finger.

This is the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me in the history of ever. Susan, I’m going to need like a gallon of bath stuff to get this feeling off of me.

I deserve to have only good and lovely things happen to me for the rest of the day. Or week. Or month.

Gawain Robards
@gawainrobards 17 July 2001

RP: Missing

Who: Gawain, Cecilia, Idris and Taliesyn Robards
Where: Tali’s cottage
When: Afternoon

It was afternoon when the Robards convened. Cecilia and Idris arrived together, voices low, heads bent to the ground, and briefcase in tow. They ushered in without a word and sat down around the small kitchen table. Gawain filled them in while Tali poured everyone tea. The cups mostly lay untouched.

“Are you sure it’s real?” Cecilia asked.

Gawain gave a curt nod. “I’ve enquired everywhere using all the resources I have. It is definitely Cary’s finger—” Cecilia and Tali flinched, while Idris remained unmoved, “—and the note definitely came from Atlantis. Look.”

Read more

Audrey Singh
@esfp 18 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Taliesyn Robards
From: Audrey Singh

Read more

Stella Chambers
@quidditchstar 18 July 2001

I realize that there has been a fair amount of speculation on the wireless talk show circuit that I’ve been offered the role of Harmony in The Curl & the Flame serial. I just want to clarify that I haven’t been offered any part in the show as of yet. I already have a full time job!

Tristan Montgomery
@iamthejane 18 July 2001

I’ll never understand why both of my sisters think they’re going to get a positive response when they say, “This is absolutely disgusting. Try it!” and then shove the offending food item into my face.

My, with that ringing endorsement, how could I resist?

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 19 July 2001

Party at the Grotto tonight.

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 19 July 2001

MY EYES

OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

UNACCEPTABLE.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 19 July 2001

I’ve just re-read all The Curl and the Flame books. It’s so strange to have so much time on my hands without the coffee shop, but I’m getting a lot of reading done so I suppose that’s a good things. I don’t really have very many books, so does anyone have any recommendations?

When I was in the Badger yesterday, someone said that somebody had told them that they had seen CeeCee DePlomb from the WWN in town. Did anyone actually see her?

Addendum: Oh, Merlin. I just opened the window and all I can see is smoke. Wyn’s Pizzeria is on fire. This can’t be happening again.

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 19 July 2001

RP: Not very good behaviour

Who: AJ Singh, Lavender Brown
Where: The Grotto
When: Late

The party was a haze of high-fives and cheek kisses and drinks being pressed into his hand, and AJ just felt so happy. So, so happy, with the lights just a little bit out of focus, and the music thrumming through his whole body, and his cheeks aching from smiling so much. He felt so happy, in fact, that there was a current of sadness running through it: that feeling of already being nostalgic for this moment, of knowing it was too good to last.

And then, as though some unspoken signal had gone around the room, the party started winding down. People were starting to leave despite AJ’s best efforts to persuade them to stay. He wasn’t ready to give up on the night yet, not by a long shot. He just needed another drink and a smile to buoy his spirits again. At least he knew one person who’d be here until the very end.

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AJ Singh
@aka_aj 20 July 2001

RP: A note on Lavender’s pillow

Who: AJ Singh, Lavender Brown
Where: 9B Helga’s Hill Road
When: Early

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Megan Jones
@schmones 21 July 2001

I don’t want to write, there’s nothing to write about and nothing good and I don’t want to talk about the not good things no one needs more not good. There’s so much already and it’s not doing anyone any good to talk about because nothing still happens because there’s nothing to happen to it to stop it happening and I don’t know why I’m doing this except maybe Hestia will leave me alone if I do

I spotted three badgers.

The weather was pretty but it was too hot.

My house is still burned

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 21 July 2001

I am so so so proud of my lovely sister LUCY for becoming a fully-qualified Healer. OBVIOUSLY I’m proud of my other sisters for various reasons, but they haven’t just done something quite as momentous as this.

The party at the Grotto was fab. Should have worn something with more cleavage. Might have bagged myself a hot Healer.

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 21 July 2001

RP: Living arrangements

Who: Idris Robards, Taliesyn Robards
Where: Tali’s flat of books
When: Daytime

“This place is a fucking fire hazard. No wonder you don’t live here. If you were here when a fire started you’d die from the smoke in two minutes.”

“Yeah, well, it’s—” very true, so Tali let his sentence trail off. “Hey! What are you doing?”

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Witch Weekly
@witchweekly 22 July 2001

Dear Dr. Flemming,

I am the world’s biggest fan of The Curl & the Flame and also an aspiring actress! I want nothing more than to be in the new serial on the WWN, but I’m not sure if there is a point of going to the open auditions when there are so many established actresses on the WWN already? My acting coaches think I have potential, but I’m scared of rejection!

Should I go for it?

Sincerely,
Talented but Unknown

***

Dear Talented but Unknown,

First of all, rejection is both part of life and part of your chosen career path. If you’re going to continue to pursue this lifestyle, you’re going to have to put on your big girl knickers and learn to face it. If you can’t do that, quit now as you’re in for a miserable existence.

That said, of course you should go to the audition. The WWN put out that casting call for a reason! The current stable of actresses at the WWN is abominable (have you heard Portia Diggle’s portrayal of Violet on Charmed Life recently? It borders on assault on ones eardrums and turning off the wireless is almost inevitable when she’s in a scene). They really do need new talent. So, if you can prepare yourself to handle potential disappointment, put yourself out there! You’ll only regret it if you don’t.

Sincerely,
Dr. Autumn Flemming

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Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 22 July 2001

[Sylvie’s journal was left out and open on her nightstand in the morning, and got doused when the sprinklers went off]

Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 22 July 2001

It’s always nice to come home from work and find everything soaking wet.

Okay, who tried to burn down my place and set off my sprinkler charms? Because you need to get over here right now as my foot has a date with your arse.

Stephen Cornfoot
@beforeitwascool 22 July 2001

• Clean windows
• Reply to letters
• Send an owl to Lavender
• Buy milk

This week hasn’t quite started out the way I would wish but things, as they say, can only get better. Though, as someone who didn’t even like sitting too close to the hearth in the common room, I have to hope there won’t be any more fires in town.

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 22 July 2001

Irony is when you miss your first official day of work as a Healer because you’re at death’s door.

So, what did we eat? I blame the chicken.

Daisy Radford
@daisysdad 22 July 2001

I spotted the most badgers but now I don’t feel good.

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 23 July 2001

Offloaded one Firebolt and traded in another for the Comet Cloud-Rover. In actual fact I spotted the most badgers on Sunday, but doing it from the air is supposedly cheating. Fine. Ignore my flying skills and superior eyesight.

Megan — I’m very sorry to hear about your house. Your family is welcome to stay with mine.

Percy Weasley
@istj 23 July 2001

Did anyone else feel a bit under the weather yesterday? I thought I may be coming down with something, but today I’m feeling much better, thankfully. I suspect it may have been food poisoning from t—.

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 23 July 2001

RP: Kissing strangers

Who: Astoria Greengrass, Stephen Cornfoot
Where: The Grotto
When: Evening

Astoria was uncomfortable. Bars were not her scene. She’d hold a glass of champagne at a party, sure, but otherwise she preferred to do her drinking surreptitiously. A few glasses of wine in the bath at night. A flask tipped into her teacup at a boring brunch. But the more she drank the more she could suppress her discomfort, so she was already on her third lemon drop martini. And Ophelia had abandoned her momentarily for the restroom, so she was draining this one quickly, since she didn’t know what else to do with herself.

Read more

Ophelia Selwyn
@thefairophelia 24 July 2001

The casting for the Curl and the Flame series cannot be decided quickly enough. The WWN office can get silly at the best of times, but the place seems to have gone completely mad since the series was announced. Today a certain gentleman kept scampering around hunched over, a balloon under the back of his shirt, exclaiming, “What day is it? What day is it?” until I someone transfigured him into a camel.

He made quite a good camel. It’s a shame he had to be changed back.

Heidi MacDonalds
@bravehearted 25 July 2001

Attention eligible men! My suddenly-single sister has decided to come stay with me this weekend to ease her broken heart, and while a Quidditch match and a party at the Grotto will probably be fun distractions for her, I always say that the quickest way to get over something (or someone) is to get back on the horse ASAP.

SO if any hot guys want to come along to the Light My Fire party tomorrow night and “accidentally” run into my sister there, you have my blessings! Her name’s Lexie, she’s 22, and she’s super fun to be around. I shouldn’t even have to say how pretty she is, because she’s a MacDonald and good looks run in our family. But here’s a photo anyway:

Cary Robards
@bookphile 25 July 2001

So it seems I’ve got chronic boredom syndrome.

Or I’m just depressed.

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 26 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Amelia Higgs
From: Terence Higgs

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Daphne Greengrass
@headtilt 26 July 2001

why does my head hurt so much

The Grotto
@thegrotto 26 July 2001

RP: Light My Fire party

Who: Anyone who wants to attend the Light My Fire party
Where: The Grotto
When: Evening

Tristan Montgomery
@iamthejane 26 July 2001

The Grotto is on fire.
There are so many people here.
Someone please send help!

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 27 July 2001

I awake. What happened? I must get out of here!

OK. Maybe scratch that. Legs not working like I remember. Short of breath too. Might have to lie this one out.

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 27 July 2001

All of these fires are really bad and it seems like you need a lot of money to fix everything that is ruined. So I have been thinking about it and I think we should put on a charity pancake breakfast.

It will be next Sunday not the one tomorrow but the one after that in my back yard because there is room there unless somebody else has a better place. We will put up a jar and you can give as much money as you want for as many pancakes as you want to eat. I think since it is charity you can decide the price. Then when it is all over we will divide the money up to all the places that have had fires unless they say they don’t want it and that can help people pay for repairs because it’s not nice to have to pay for all of that when you didn’t even start the fire I think.

If anybody wants to help cook pancakes and has good recipes or lend tables and chairs and stuff so people can sit and eat I would like your help a lot!!! Also if you have friends and family that live outside the town let them know so they can come too. I just think it is really important that we do everything we can to help our friends get back on their feet so we can go back to being happy Helga’s Hill.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 28 July 2001

It’s my birthday on the 3rd and I wonder if I should just book a last-minute holiday and go away somewhere. I wouldn’t normally make have the time, but things are different right now. The building work on Higher Grounds and our flat is going nicely, but there isn’t a lot for me to do other than help pick out paint colours.

Does anyone have any recommendations for where to go? It would be nice to have someone to go with, too.

Lexie MacDonald
@bravehearted 28 July 2001

My sister needs to find a better hiding place for this. I only came back to her flat to pick up a few of her things (the Healers say she’s improving — it helps that she has such a thick skull, I suppose) when what should I stumble across but her diary. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be anything interesting in here, so I thought I’d remedy that.

FUN FACT #1
Heidi MacDonald makes a really convincing ginger.

FUN FACT #2
When we were kids we would share a bath, and — without fail — Heidi would always do a poo in the bathtub. It used to drive our mum crazy.

FUN FACT #3
She makes noises in her sleep. Like, talking, snuffling… When she was younger she used to sing in her sleep.

Wow, I could go on like this all day. Does anyone have any burning questions about Heidi they want me to answer? The more embarrassing the better!

Lucinda Vane
@lowercaps 28 July 2001

so many familiar faces in st. mungo’s.

timing is peculiar. they say history repeats itself. more burns than blood, but i suppose the details aren’t important.

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 29 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Andrei Capper
From: Imogen Stretton

Read more

Tom Pippin
@pippinspotions 29 July 2001

So it seems the fires have taken a toll even without burning. Mr Richard Kelsey, long-time employee, and dare I say it, family friend, of J Pippin’s has decided the Grotto blaze was the final straw. No amount of reassurances that we have top notch fire security though that’s mainly to keep any fires in, not fires out, a bonus and a raise or preferential treatment at St Mungo’s could get him to get to change his mind. He has handed in his notice and he and the missus are moving to Ousefleet. Good luck to him, I suppose. I’m sure he’ll find his new home suitably dull tranquil.

I’ll now have to advertise for new staff. I fear I’m not going to find anyone as good because when you’ve worked for one company for so long you become obviously more than just any employee. I guess we could take on another apprentice as a long-term investment but there’s not much choice. The War blew a hole in most recent school-leavers’ educations and Johanna has already snapped up the best for the flagship store.

Also can’t imagine anyone falling over themselves to relocate here. Well, I guess you don’t have to be a resident but I do like having a local flavour.

Heidi MacDonalds
@bravehearted 30 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Lexie MacDonald
From: Heidi MacDonald

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Ernie Macmillan
@topgeek 30 July 2001

I suppose this is not an opportune time to mention it’s my birthday next week? I honestly don’t feel a celebration is at all warranted, given the circumstances, but I will be travelling back up to Scotland on the weekend and friends are welcome to join me. You might get to visit a haunted castle! Fancy that.

Tom Pippin
@pippinspotions 31 July 2001

Owl Post

To: Romilda Vane
From: Tom Pippin

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Henry Radford
@daisysdad 31 July 2001

RP: Caught

Who: Henry Radford, Audrey Singh
Where: Outside the Glass Slipper
When: Evening

Arithmancers made Henry Radford’s head hurt. They always had. Especially the forsenic types that used equations and algorithms and other incomprehensible shit to predict the patterns of criminals. Henry was half convinced that they were all high functioning sociopaths themselves, but knew better than to say so. They could be testy. And they were useful, he had to admit. They had predicted that the Helga’s Hill arsonist would deviate from pattern, that the events would escalate as they continued. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been able to predict the next attack until after the damage at the Grotto had been done.

But now they felt they’d pinpointed a possible location for the next attack, though the timing seemed to have been thrown off slightly by the chaos at the weekend. Still, he or one of his team were staking out The Glass Slipper at all times, waiting and watching for suspicious behavior.

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Sasha Capper
@dontsassme 31 July 2001

Looks like a certain bubbly waitress is going to need a damn good lawyer. Where is Idris Robards when you need him, hmm?