August 2001

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 1 August 2001

Local Girl is Notorious Helga’s Hill Arsonist. Is She a Murderer, Too?

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 1 August 2001

I think ‘Bungling Ministry Fuzz Destroys Another Person, Their Family, Their Livelihood’ is a more worthy headline.

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 1 August 2001

So now I know who put my girlfriend in hospital.

This’ll be fun.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 1 August 2001

SISTERS! I’m trying to get a new job, so please don’t touch the cauldron in the kitchen. Actually, please don’t touch ANY cauldrons or potions ingredients in the kitchen until further notice, okay? It’s all labelled, so I will KNOW.

Now that all this fire business seems to have been stopped, I have to say I’m feeling a little worried. I was starting to think Live to Tell the Kale would be next. Relief makes me want to go out and DANCE.

Daisy Radford
@daisysdad 2 August 2001

I just heard Daddy say that Miss Audrey admitted that she made all those fires. Why would she do that? I thought she was nice!

[This post was deleted by Henry the next morning.]

Amity Singh
@esfp 3 August 2001

To the person or people who damaged my family’s restaurant,

You’re assholes.

My family has lived and worked in this community for thirty damn years. We have fed and cared for most (if not all) of you. Whatever my little sister may or may not have done, my family and our business are not to blame.

My father could have been hurt. My son could have been hurt. I hope endangering old men and small children makes you feel really good about yourselves.

Henry Radford
@daisysdad 3 August 2001

I apologize for any information my daughter may have passed off as official or accurate yesterday evening. It was not official. She was meant to be in bed and was, instead, lingering outside my study door and catching bits of pieces of information that she didn’t understand. As she was asleep again by the time my meeting was finished, I was unaware that she had been near the journal until this morning. The post has been removed.

Emelda Vane
@describe 4 August 2001

Today I felt an unborn child kicking inside the womb, almost as if he or she were eager to come out into the world and meet everyone. I think it helps put things in perspective, sometimes, to know that even though there are murders and fires and awful things in the world, there is also love and new life. It made me think about the Prophet’s insistence on calling Xavier Orpington’s supposed offspring “love children” as though by contrast children born in wedlock are not loved.

But then everyone knows the Prophet is a sensationalist rag that cares not a fig for proper terminology.

P.S. Regardless of your opinion on whether a six-year-old is a credible source or not, I am surprised more people are not discussing the potential puppet-master pulling Audrey Singh’s strings?

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 4 August 2001

So The Curl & the Flame open auditions are on Friday. I wonder who the suckers hopefuls from our oh so dramatic little hamlet will be?

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 4 August 2001

We still have pancakes if you haven’t stopped by yet so you should do so. They’re really yummy! I will even make a happy face on yours with chocolate chips and whipped cream if you want.

I am so excited that so many people have come. You are all so wonderful and jeneris nice!!

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 6 August 2001

“It wasn’t my fault!”

Audrey Singh claims the Imperius curse is to blame

Gawain Robards
@gawainrobards 6 August 2001

So, Imperio. I had a feeling it would come to this. I haven’t met many accused who haven’t at least tried this defence. Really brings me back to the old days. We called them DEDs or ADEDs for the more politically correct among us. They were so rife the Wizengamot had to hear cases in batches. Difficult to investigate. Difficult to determine guilt. Hard to when the symptoms are pleasant.

It takes a strong will to cast one successfully but this also depends on your intended victim. In this case I’d say mostly anyone is capable, which, if true, brings the investigation back to square one.

And on a more theoretical note, since I became Head of the Aurors I’ve been lobbying the school board to make Defence Against the Dark Arts compulsory to NEWT level. It is ridiculous that poorly performing students are allowed to essentially drop out of learning vital skills. Really, they would be the ones who most need to push on.

To this effect, I will holding a seminar on the Imperius Curse — Developing Resistance at the Fat Friar Fitness Centre this Saturday evening, at 7:30pm. There will a talk, then demonstrations with my volunteers, then perhaps your one and only chance to try and cast it yourself without being arrested, finished with a Q&A and light refreshments. All welcome. I suggest you don’t miss this.

Parvati Patil
@sovatish 8 August 2001

It was so lovely to see many friends at the meal on Monday. Thank you so much to everyone who came. You helped make the day very special.

Speaking of special days, I found the cutest stickers when I was browsing in Flourish and Blotts the other day. Time is ticking by so fast!

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 9 August 2001

So how’d the auditions go? Who’s feeling good about their chances?

Wayne Hopkins
@awkwardsoup 11 August 2001

RP: Waking up

Who: Wayne Hopkins, Louisa Macnair
Where: Wayne’s bed (scandal!)
When: Early morning

When Wayne woke up, the first thing he was aware of was that it wasn’t morning just yet — the light was just barely starting to filter in through his drapes. And the second thing he was aware of was that a girl was in his bed.

When this second realization hit him, he suddenly felt jolted fully awake. He opened his eyes wide and looked her over — Louisa, on her side, curled up sweetly, and facing away from him. And fully dressed. He smiled as it came back to him — they’d been exhausted after a day of hiking in the sun, and they’d decided to have a bit of a rest and a cuddle before dinner, which had accidentally turned into a nap, which had accidentally turned into, apparently, sleeping through the night.

And then his smile disappeared, when he suddenly got a very vivid mental image of how Louisa’s brother might react.

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 11 August 2001

I don’t want to talk about what happened yesterday because I don’t know how I feel about it.

Eloise Midgen
@yellowcheese 12 August 2001

I never realized that being a mother is so much work! And I’m only a mother to kittens. Their cat mother abandoned them, so it’s more work than it would be otherwise. I’m glad they don’t need to be bottle fed anymore. Putting out bowls is much easier.

Matilda Vane
@likemattie 12 August 2001

I’d hate to not be able to leave my house, no matter what I did. No offense to my sisters, of course.

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 13 August 2001

Yes, I just tried to hex some arsehole Prophet photographer. No, I wasn’t successful. Yes, he made a big fucking fuss and I’m sure you can look forward to reading all about it in the paper tomorrow. No, I’m not sorry. Only sorry I missed.

Any questions? Get your exclusive quotes here.

Tamara Crumb
@tamara_crumb 13 August 2001

Shite. I shouldn’t have played with those kids over at the daycare today. My ankle is all swollen up and I can’t stand on it at all.

How am I going to get everything done for Sunday if I can’t walk?! This is the worst possible time this could have happened!

Barney Dunstan
@butmyducks 14 August 2001

Stella is the most beautiful girl in the whole world.

Katie Bell
@heatproof 14 August 2001

The Perseids seemed especially pretty this year, but maybe that was due to the wine and company.

Tom Pippin
@pippinspotions 16 August 2001

Owl Post

To: Tristan Montgomery
From: Tom Pippin

To: Isolde Montgomery
From: Tom Pippin

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 16 August 2001

I love days that are all about ME!

Parvati Patil
@sovatish 16 August 2001

Lawyers don’t come cheap and I hope after Mr Robards’ demonstration last weekend people don’t blame Audrey for what happened. But the legal system is what it is and that’s why myself and Tali are organising a raffle to help the Singhs at this difficult time.

We’ll be selling tickets this weekend and so far prizes include a signed first edition copy of The Curl & The Flame, a magnificent cake from the Perkses, and dinner for two at the Jewel of India. There will be more, but we haven’t quite confirmed them yet. (And if anyone would like to donate prizes, please contact either myself or Tali Robards, thanks!)

It will be one galleon for a strip of five tickets.

Heidi MacDonald
@bravehearted 17 August 2001

GO HOGSMEADE!!!

Short notice but I’m going out to celebrate tonight and I plan to get completely rat-arsed. Anyone who accepts Scotland’s superiority is free to join me! Meeting at the Leaky at 9pm — let’s see how many pubs we can fit in before we all pass out in the gutter. If I come home with my knickers still on it’ll have been a wasted night.

Tamara Crumb
@tamara_crumb 18 August 2001

RP: Adelaide’s birthday party

Who: Tamara Crumb, invited guests
Where: Tamara’s home
When: Afternoon

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 19 August 2001

To Do List:
- unpack
- clean out pantry
- buy groceries
- redecorate flat
- get fitted for new dress robes
- haircut
- speak to relatives
- distribute souvenirs
- resign from job
- leave invisible lump of poo on Imogen’s chair
- get new job
- cook dinner
- go to bed

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 19 August 2001

I just want to say thanks to an awful lot of you. You know who you are. And it means a lot.

Lavender Brown
@solavish 19 August 2001

Ooooh, I am very pleased with my prize! What a yummy looking cake. And it’s huge! I’m planning to bribe Ernie with part of it in hopes that he’ll give me his prize, but if you’d like some as well, feel free to come by!

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 20 August 2001

TORNADOES STARLET TO TRY OUT NEW ROLE!

It’s official, ladies and gentleman! The WWN has finally cast their leading lady for the wireless adaptation of Harold & Cynthia Hopkins’ incredibly steamy The Curl & the Flame series! The brilliant and sensual Harmony will be played by the sweetheart of Quidditch herself, Tutshill’s own Stella Chambers!

This is a step out of her comfort zone for the Chaser, who has never appeared on the wireless as anyone but herself. However, with her charm, wit, good looks, and bubbly personality, we’re positive that Chambers is up to the challenge.

“She’s definitely everything we were looking for when casting Harmony,” says the serial’s director, Baldwin Baddock. “She’s sexy, she’s fierce, she’s fearless, and she practically lit the sound equipment on fire with her first audition. Stella is definitely more than just an amazing Quidditch player. She’s a genuinely excellent little actress.”

“She’s perfect!” adds Cynthia Hopkins when questioned about the casting choice. “Harold and I really feel she brings the sex appeal that the role of Harmony demands! We can’t wait to hear her bring our fantasy to life.”

High praise indeed!

And not to fear Tutshill fans, you won’t be losing your favourite Chaser anytime soon. Chambers intends to balance acting with her already demanding Quidditch career.

“I love playing Quidditch for Tutshill and that’s never going to change,” she told the Prophet exclusively. “But when this opportunity came along, I couldn’t say no!

I’m so grateful to my coaches, everyone at the WWN, my teammates, my family, and my boyfriend for being willing to make this hectic new schedule and lifestyle work! And, of course, I’m grateful for the amazing support that I’ve always received from my fabulous fans! This is going to be an exciting new adventure!”

And we’re all excited to see the adventure unfold.

Who will the WWN cast next? We’re dying to know who is going to play the devastatingly sexy Raul. And if Chambers’ aforementioned boyfriend will be jealous of their steamy scenes…

Emelda Vane
@describe 20 August 2001

I long for the day when the Oxford comma is regarded as standard. One of my colleagues has been admitted to St Mungo’s with scrofungulus so our editor assigned me to complete the article she was working on about the Beasts of Britain and the People Who Love Them. My colleague’s notes were very brief. She had written “TO INTERVIEW: The owl ambassador from Godric’s Hollow, the water vole woman from Tinworth and Gordon, the dancing toad man.” I spent too long wondering where “Tinworth and Gordon” was.

P.S. It is not the toads that dance but Gordon. He is very primal.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 20 August 2001

Congratulations to Helga’s Hill’s very own Stella Chambers for getting the part of Harmony in The Curl & The Flame. That news certainly made me smile when I read the paper this morning. I can’t wait to see who else has been cast. Especially Raul!

That wasn’t the only news that made me happy today. We’re getting close to being able to move back into our flat. This also means we’re a step closer to reopening Higher Grounds! I was too little when we first opened, but now I’m going to get some input on the refurbishment. I might go on a coffee shop tour of the country to get more inspiration. If anyone wants to join me, do let me know because it would be lovely to have company.

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 21 August 2001

Eloise, got any kittens left?

Cecilia Robards
@gawainrobards 21 August 2001

There’s nothing nicer than receiving a prize from a raffle you didn’t know you had a stake in. Thank you, Tali. You’re a sweetheart. It is a lovely hamper. Though I honestly wouldn’t have supported the cause myself.

However, it does reminds me of how long it’s been since I hosted a dinner party. Too long, too long by far. Such a shame there is so little space or I’ll put one on next week. I do have three eligible men I need to properly introduce, after all.

Susan Bones
@ambrosial 21 August 2001

I have the two best shopgirls in the whole of Britain! You should all come in and see the marvellous display that Astoria and Blodwen have created for my new product, Foaming Fish. They’re heaped up in a giant goldfish bowl and it’s the cutest thing ever. And yes, they were originally developed as a no-fuss baby bath bomb for instant bubbles, but Blodwen discovered that using three or four together is about right for an adult-sized bath (depending on how deep you like it) and from there we came up with the idea of mixing up the different colours.

So, we’ve put up a chalkboard if you want to add your favourite combination! I particularly like Blodwen’s latest idea of pink + purple + 2 x blue, but then I’m fond of anything that involves the pink fish. (They create huge iridescent bubbles, but that’s all I’m saying. You’ll have to discover what the other colours do for yourself!) I’ve been told that some of the effects are similar to the taps in the prefects’ bathroom at Hogwarts, which I feel is rather high praise, but of course — not having been a prefect myself — I wouldn’t know anything about that.

Anyway, the Foaming Fish are 3 Sickles each, and they’re 3 for the price of 2 until the end of August! Go on, you know you want to.

By the way, I hear the weather’s going to get really hot this weekend, which has got me thinking about how much fun it would be to toss about ten of these into a paddling pool…

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 23 August 2001

My kitten is perfect and she needs a name!!

Daisy Radford
@daisysdad 23 August 2001

Daddy says I can play with the journal again but I have to follow the rules this time. And he gave me this kitty!!

I want to name her Susan!

Stella Chambers
@quidditchstar 23 August 2001

I just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has owled or stopped me in town to say congratulations! I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such lovely and supportive people!!

I can’t wait to start my new adventure!!!

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 24 August 2001

My new kitten is called Muffin and she’s so sweet and lovely. But I think we both might melt in the heat! I think I need ice cream.

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 25 August 2001

This is Jack Sparroweater. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sit in the bath with cold water up to my neck and a kitten on my head.

Eloise Midgen
@yellowcheese 25 August 2001

And then there was one.

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 25 August 2001

I guess it would be unprofessional to greet customers in just my undergarments, yeah?

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 25 August 2001

That’s it. I’m going swimming in the fountain in the town square. Try to stop me, I dare you.

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 25 August 2001

RP: Too damn hot

Who: Isolde Montgomery, Zacharias Smith
Where: The town fountain
When: Evening

It was hot. Too damn hot. For anything. For breathing. And the only relief that Issy had had all day was when she had stripped down to her unmentionables and climbed into the fountain in the square. And nobody was going to ruin that for her. Especially not Zacharias Smith and his empty threats of coming to stop her. Please.

Even if he did show up, she was absolutely certain that she could take him.

Read more

Lavender Brown
@solavish 25 August 2001

Turns out that I really like camping!

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 26 August 2001

If the heat doesn’t let up, a trip to the Roman baths in Bath (predictably) is in order. We can meet there after work, take a dip, then have dinner in town. Who wants to go?

Louisa Macnair
@hedidntdoit 26 August 2001

Someone’s tired. I don’t blame you, Scraggly. I’m tired too. It’s too hot.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 26 August 2001

Brewing in this heat is not to be recommended. I think I’m even more stewed than the peppermint that I’ve been using. (Though that has given me an idea for a new cocktail which I MUST try out later!)

I can’t wait for this heat to break. You know it’s bad when it’s too hot for brownies. If the weather witch on the wireless is to be believed, we’re in for a storm tonight. Fingers crossed.

Alex Derrick
@ourshadypast 27 August 2001

Was that thunder?

Stella Chambers
@quidditchstar 27 August 2001

Tomorrow is my birthday!! Everyone is welcome to come to a pig roast on the farm tomorrow night around half six to help me celebrate my birthday and all the other exciting things happening in my life!

Now, has anyone seen Barney?

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 27 August 2001

RP: A new view

Who: Romilda Vane, Taliesyn Robards
Where: Tattered Pages
When: Afternoon

This recent heatwave had wreaked havoc with Romilda’s brewing; she sighed as yet another potion went slipping down the plughole with a gurgle. Last night’s storm had broken the heat, but not before it had done some damage to one of her creations. She turned on the tap to wash out the sink, then grabbed a clean glass from the drying rack to get herself a drink. After all, it was a good idea to keep hydrated in this weather, especially when you spent so much time lurking around bubbling cauldrons.

When she turned to her notes, however, she found she didn’t have all the reading materials she needed for the next potion she was going to brew. This left two options. The first was to go to London, visit Flourish and Blotts, and then come home with considerably less money. The second option was to go to Tattered Pages and hope that she could get the book second hand and therefore much cheaper.

Read more

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 27 August 2001

RP: Wuv. Twue wuv.

Who: Isolde Montgomery, Zacharias Smith
Where: Whoops-A-Daisy
When: Afternoon

When Zacharias said he was going to fine Isolde for causing a nuisance in a public place, he meant it sincerely. The slip was already attached to a mayoral owl before he thought better of posting. She could always claim she hadn’t received it, and then he’d have to pester her about it, she’d deny again, and the whole thing would drag on an unacceptably long time. No, better to get it over with now. She must be in her shop and he’d hand it to her directly. No excuses then.

Read more

Dt Spinks
@dotdotdash 27 August 2001

This town has gone mad.

There are three hundred and eighty-seven banned items that you cannot send via owl post. Telling me you are “in love” is not going to help. I still won’t parcel up a toad that you apparently charmed to croak a Celestina Warbeck song. Trust me, your girlfriend will thank me for it.

Tristan Montgomery
@iamthejane 27 August 2001

Most days in Helga’s Hill are a bit odd, but today has been one of the most bizarre in my entire life.

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 27 August 2001

It looks like I’ve got a new pet Dunstan.

What should I call him?

He likes: playing outdoors, bringing me things he’s found, getting scratched behind the ears.

Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 27 August 2001

How could I have lived with the lovely Eloise for as long as I have and never before noticed what beautiful eyes and what luxurious hair she has?

I can’t believe no one has snatched her up yet, but that makes things much easier for me.

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 28 August 2001

Has anyone seen Stella Chambers? I’ve got something that belongs to her and I swear I’m trying to return it.

Portia Diggle
@portraying 28 August 2001

Ladies, the rumours are true. Alexander Derrick is a god in the bedroom.

Stella Chambers
@quidditchstar 28 August 2001

Owl Post

To: Calvin Chambers
From: Stella Chambers

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 28 August 2001

Magazines are proving useless. Any suggestions on the best way to win over someone who’s playing hard to get?

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 28 August 2001

Owl Post

To: Taliesyn Robards
From: Romilda Vane

Ernie Macmillan
@topgeek 28 August 2001

How nice it is, when one’s soul mate is so perfectly clear to one’s mind, and there’s no need for the endless faffing about when you don’t know whether you like someone or like like them, or not like them at all but it’s now impolite and too much trouble to back out.

Tristan, why don’t we pick up where we left off? I feel we could be so, so much more than just erstwhile dance partners.

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 28 August 2001

Owl Post

To: Bernard Dunstan & Brad Dunstan
From: Jennie Hopkins

Read more

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 28 August 2001

RP: Photographs

Who: Taliesyn Robards, Cary Robards
Where: Robards cottage
When: Evening

Tali had been kicked out of his own flat. He didn’t know whether it was because Idris finally found a girl to take hostage or whether he had simply decided to take being a prat to a new level, randomly. He had no journal either, that also being in Idris’s possession. The only thing he did have, apart from the clothes on his back and his wand, was this rather… interesting letter from Romilda.

It was rather forward. To say the least. He’d never been so blatantly propositioned.

But he couldn’t. Could he?

Read more

Idris Robards
@bookphile 28 August 2001

Mattie, my love.

Stella Chambers
@quidditchstar 29 August 2001

Owl Post

To: Alicia Spinnet
From: Stella Chambers

Read more

Alex Derrick
@ourshadypast 29 August 2001

Portia Diggle, Portia Diggle
I love your hair; every squiggle
I love to watch you walk and wiggle
I love to see your booty jiggle

I want to hold you round the middle
Sneak my hands round for a fiddle
Lie you down and make you wriggle
Come here and let me have a nibble

I love you: that you cannot quibble
No subtlety; it’s not a riddle
I hope this poem made you giggle
Because I love you, Portia Diggle

Ben Macnair
@hesstillmydad 29 August 2001

We don’t seem to be making much money with busking but I don’t care. As long as it’s enough to feed my darling Felicity, it’s plenty. It’s more important that we’re together all the time. I can’t imagine leaving her even for a minute. Earlier I had to go to the bathroom and it was torture. Would it kill the romance to take her with me?

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 29 August 2001

WHY doesn’t anything rhyme with Zacharias?!

Stephen Cornfoot
@beforeitwascool 29 August 2001

I stay in London for a couple of nights for meetings and come home to a town that seems rather crazier than when I left it.

I’m starting to think I’d rather go back to the lawyers.

Daisy Radford
@daisysdad 29 August 2001

Miss Heidi just went crazy and tried to jump on Daddy and kiss him and he had to use that spell that makes you stop moving!

Wendy Wickersham
@cutitoff 29 August 2001

My parents are snogging. My parents are snogging. MY PARENTS. SNOGGING. EACH OTHER. I can’t believe I just saw that. Kill me.

Something really weird is going on, right?? Like, super fucking weird?? I cannot be the only one thinking this. This goes way beyond the usual Helga’s Hill levels of weird… which is saying something.

Louisa Macnair
@hedidntdoit 29 August 2001

Is there anybody still normal who wouldn’t mind me coming to stay with them for a bit? I have to get out of here, and my usual place to get out of here is just as bad at the moment.

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 29 August 2001

All the love is so beautiful!! It makes me miss being in love.

I hope I am as happy as all of you someday.

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 30 August 2001

LEAD ROLES IN THE CURL & THE FLAME HAVE BEEN CAST!

Here is all the TCTF news that it fit to print! We have a leading man and our two supporting ladies! That’s right, our scintillating starlet, Stella Chambers, is no longer heading up the cast of the most hotly anticipated serial of all time all on her lonesome.

Joining Chambers’ Harmony are Christian Cavanaugh (Raul), Adair Liath (Harriet), and Portia Diggle (Genevieve).

Diggle is well known to wireless listeners for portraying Violet on The Charmed Life for the last several years. With her fiery hair, she was a natural choice to play Harriet’s fiesty schoolgirl love. We have to wonder, however, what will happen to Violet? Perhaps another violent death is in store on the long-running soap!

Seemingly the WWN’s make good on their claims about casting an unknown, Liath has come out of nowhere. The Scottish lass finished Hogwarts last year and had been working behind the bar in her parents’ pub when she went to auditions on a whim.

“I was getting just a bit sick of slinging ale, aye?” she told the Prophet. “So I figured why not give it a shot? Can’t hurt to try. And here I am! Can’t say that I’ll miss the grog, to be honest.”

She’s certainly adorable and has the right look for Harriet. We hope that Liath and Diggle can make the chemistry between Harriet and Genevieve work (because, while no where near as important as the Harmony and Raul romance, it still needs to be hot, hot, hot)!

The real story here, of course, is Cavanaugh. No stranger to acting, he’s leaving a WADA professorship to make his first foray onto the wireless. We’ve all been melting in our seats over his stage performances for years… and we can’t wait to hear him bringing Chambers to all sorts of ecstasy through our speakers!

“I couldn’t pass it up,” Christian says. “I never thought the wireless would be for me, but the opportunity to work with Baldwin and Stella on this really called to me. We had so much fun during our auditions together. She’s a spitfire. I like that.”

Could that be more than a costar’s admiration coming through? Rumor has it that Chambers and her boyfriend of five years have recently split. Could our Harmony and Raul find love in real life?

Only time will tell! We’re excited to see what happens and we know that you are, too. Keep an eye on this space for all your TCTF updates!

Blaise Zabini
@basial 30 August 2001

RP: Married?

Who: Blaise Zabini, Susan Bones
Where: Susan’s flat
When: Morning

As a rule, Blaise did not pry into the men that Hannah brought home. Similarly, she didn’t comment on his overnight guests, even though he was sure she really wanted to. However, last night Hannah had decided to make their shared living area her personal sexual playground with Humphrey Winfield-Hayes, of all people. Every passive-aggressive move he had tried had failed and he would have been impressed with her stamina if the circumstances were different. As things stood, there wasn’t a surface in the house that he wanted to touch, save for his own bed.

Standing outside Susan Bones’ door, he wondered if it had been a mistake leaving his bedroom door unlocked and shuddered lightly.

Birds chirped, signalling the start of a bright new day, but Blaise’s expression was anything but sunny. His sleep being interrupted by Hannah and Humphrey’s enthusiastic ‘love-making’ was bad enough, but now he had to ask a Hufflepuff for help. He pounded on the door; Susan had better have some answers, or at least some way to curb Hannah’s libido.

Read more

Matilda Vane
@likemattie 30 August 2001

Everyone, I know you’re all madly in love, but please don’t forget about my birthday party tomorrow evening at Chez Vane! There will be all sorts of yummy treats!

Tom Pippin
@pippinspotions 30 August 2001

In my professional opinion, most of you really ought to go to St Mungo’s for a check-up. Urgently.

If I find anyone else harassing my girlfriend girls who don’t want your attention, then into the fountain you go.

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 30 August 2001

Wanted: New brothers. Willing to trade in old ones.

Wanted: New place to live. Rent negotiable.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 30 August 2001

I have the loveliest picture in a frame by my bed now. Tali, you are the absolute sweetest.

Hannah Abbott
@toomanyshoes 30 August 2001

Hannah Winfield-Hayes

Hannah Hayes

Mrs Humphrey Winfield-Hayes

Humphrey & Hannah Winfield-Hayes

Mrs Winfield-Hayes

Anyway, the point is… HUMPHREY & I GOT MARRIED!!

Felicity Eastchurch
@candyfliss 30 August 2001

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Did this really happen?! I WANT TO DIE.

Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 31 August 2001

Eugh. Time to get completely sloshed and find a random stranger to take home.

Anyone else with me?

Lavender Brown
@solavish 31 August 2001

I guess we should have known that a love potion outbreak would have started at Romilda’s house.

How long do you think they’re going to keep us all in the garden? It isn’t like we did anything.