Sally-Anne Perks@highergrounds 1 October 2001
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AJ!
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Christian CavanaughPrivate
10.00am — Photoshoot for Witch Weekly.
— Don’t wash hair.
— Spare robes?
Taliesyn RobardsWarded to Romilda Vane
May I ask you a question?
Heidi MacDonaldsWarded to Audrey Singh
Hi. Apparently I’m on babysitting duty so I expect you’ve been told that I’m your Hit Witch escort in the first instance if you want to go out. And, well, I’m not saying I think you’re innocent or guilty or whatever, but I do think being stuck inside for weeks must’ve been shitty frustrating. So… whenever you want to go out, just message me or Floo call or whatever, but I should usually have my journal with me. And I’ll try not to get in your way too much, although I totally understand if you think this whole set-up sucks. Because I do, but I’m going to do my job, okay?
Christian CavanaughPrivate
13.00 — Thai Me Up. Lunch with Stella.
Humphrey Winfield-HayesBeen waiting for the inevitable post about stoning Helga’s graffiti artist-slash-blackmailer and then I remembered who’s likely to make that post? Oh yeah, Smith! Ha.
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Jennie HopkinsGuess who’s got two tickets to the Curl and the Flame premiere? Be jealous, it’s going to be a fantastic party.
Ben, if Gabe can’t make it will you be my +1? If I can’t seduce Christian Cavanaugh myself at least I could live vicariously through you. Maybe Wayne could bring Louisa and we’ll make a double date of it.
Ooh and this is a perfect excuse to buy this backless dress that’s been calling my name. I’m going to do this fantastic iridescent deep purple mani/pedi, and it will be perfect with my stilettos with the —
hang on—
WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY FUCKING SHOES?
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Ben MacnairAlright, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the competition of the century! Two power-eaters go head to head to see who can pack away the most food. We’ll be starting at 4.30 and will keep going until Dot loses. Come along and cheer for your favourite! The route is as follows (times are approximate):
4.30 Live to Tell the Kale
5.30 Higher Grounds
6.00 The Salty Badger
7.00 The Jewel of India
8.00 Falafelly Good
8.30 Angelo’s Pizza
9.15 The Fat Fryer
9.45 The Jewel of India
10.45 Falafelly Good
11.15 Angelo’s Pizza
12.00 The Fat Fryer
12.30 anywhere still open
Tomorrow: The Fat Friar Fitness Centre. Definitely.
If you want to meet us en-route and provide us with food on-the-go, do feel free, just make sure you have exactly the same food for each of us so Dot can’t claim she’s eaten more than me.
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Zach SmithI did not assault Stephen Cornfoot.
I did not write any graffiti out of my own free will.
I am confident I will be acquitted of any charges.
That is all I have to say on this matter.
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Tamara CrumbI am pleased to announce that I have picked up a second part time job (which is good because I believe Adelaide is outgrowing every single clothing item she owns). Mornings and Saturdays you will find me at Heaven Scent. But don’t worry, I’ll still be there for the lunch rush at the Fryer.
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Witch Weekly
Heidi MacDonaldsI’m so excited for TCTF to start!!! I’ve re-read all the books and I now picture Christian as Raul. (Who doesn’t??) Swooning over those photos of him in Witch Weekly! (Which I read on my lunch break, of course, and not when I was supposed to be working, just in case that needs to be said.) God, the man oozes sex appeal even when he’s just eating lunch. Although I’m kind of confused because I thought Barney and Stella had got back together but maybe not? Oh, and Portia and Adair make such a cute couple, am I right??
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Wayne HopkinsWho: Wayne Hopkins, Louisa Macnair
Where: 7 Fat Friar Lane
When: Evening
Wayne went quiet as he pushed open the door to their shared building and they started climbing the stairs to their respective flats. While they’d been away on holiday he’d successfully managed to forget everything and just enjoy himself, but now it was back to reality. Back to sitting around in his flat waiting to find out if he’d ever get to go back to work.
And first he had to say goodbye to Louisa. After sharing a hotel room for four days, their current living arrangement felt vaguely ridiculous — the very definition of “so close, and yet so far.” He’d liked waking up next to her every day. He’d been weirdly pleased by the sight of their toothbrushes sharing a cup by the bathroom sink. He was going to miss that. He was going to miss her, even though she lived basically 20 feet away.
As they reached her door he caught her looking at him, and he quickly put on a forced smile. He didn’t want to be a downer. “Well, this is your stop,” he said, setting down his bag so he could say goodbye properly.
Sebastian StebbinsOne would think that this doing laundry malarkey would be a easier. Did I miss those classes at Hogwarts?
It doesn’t really help when my cat has decided that climbing the walls is the best way to get my attention.
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Susan BonesQuick opinion poll! What is the general consensus on people who say “Don’t you know who I am?” and expect preferential treatment? Because I’d like to think that everyone receives exemplary service at Heaven Scent no matter who they are or what they do for a living, making such announcements rude arrogant unnecessary. Especially since I had to tell him no, I didn’t know who he was.
Also, is it unprofessional to start giggling after said person flounces out of the shop in a huff like a spoilt child?
Johanna PippinTo: Tom Pippin
From: Johanna Pippin
Dear Tom,
Happy birthday, dear brother. Gifts are in the post. I had Mum and Dad and Julian send theirs over to me so I could bulk send and get a discount. How does it feel to be 28?
— Johanna
Megan JonesDONE. Book the latest completely edited. It’s all up to the author now.
Meanwhile, Stella, you looked beautiful in Witch Weekly! Kirley Duke wishes his hair looked as good as yours.
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Seamus FinniganHad some spare time this past weekend, so I’ve got new fairy tale figurines and knickknacks in the shop if anyone is interested in that kind of thing. Not the Little Mermaid jewelry box, though. Apparently Coll’s got dibs on that one. Stop in!
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Andrei CapperThis Friday I will be helping to make the world’s biggest pizza!
What will you be doing?
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Zach SmithWho: Zacharias Smith, Idris Robards, and Sepphora Smith
Where: Smith Manor
When: Morning
“I really wouldn’t write those comments, if I were you,” said Idris.
Zach started. “How can you tell what I’m writing,” he said, suspicious. Idris was sitting across the table from him.
“I can’t,” replied Idris. “But I know it’s not going to help your cause.” He reached over and plucked the journal out of Zacharias’s hands. He skimmed the page. Exactly as he thought. A tirade addressed to everybody, even those who hadn’t personally offended him. To be thorough, Idris supposed.
Idris RobardsTo friends if he has any and curious onlookers:
Zacharias Smith will not be using this journal at this time. If you really want to talk to him I’m sure you will find an alternate way.
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Taliesyn RobardsYesterday at work I agreed with a patron that while keeping the first book in an extraordinarily popular and addictive series for weeks may be bad form keeping the second book is unforgivable. But no, I can’t tell you who. That’s classified. No, really I can’t. Oh, you really want to know? OK, his name is an anagram of ‘soaped ego’. No, I don’t know on what floor he works. All I know is it’s below the first and above the third.
Later I heard there was a duel on the second floor and Arnie Peasegood almost lost an arm but I’m sure I had nothing to do with that.
Private
I have taken to wearing eau de cologne. It is for a social experiment. Mostly the experiment consists of standing too close to Romilda. Sometimes we bumped arms and once I put a hand on her shoulder but that was about it. No reaction at all. Well, now I know for sure. I mean, I obviously already knew, but now I have absolute confirmation. Well, not absolute. But what else can I do, take her pulse? No, I’m dropping this.
But I may as well keep wearing cologne because I can smell nice for myself, after all. And it was too expensive to waste. In the words of the original maker — “I have found a fragrance that reminds me of an Italian spring morning, of mountain daffodils and orange blossoms after the rain”. I like it.
I feel bad about my experiment now. Mostly because I have had to take less potion because the supply has dwindled. How can this be? Did I miscalculate? No, I rationed for it perfectly.
Perhaps I have been subconsciously drinking more to get the desired effect? Is it not a blanket effect, as first thought, but works in tandem with the base level of emotion? What if you care less than zero, then? Is that even possible?
Though that is more of a philosophical question.
At least it will make for a very weighty paper. That is one thing that is progressing nicely. Unless we run out of potion.
Maybe I can cut it with some calming draught and eke it out a bit longer.
Warded to Romilda Vane
Have you been using
Sally-Anne PerksI ate far too much last night. I’m never going to eat pizza again!!!
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Astoria GreengrassTo: Cary Robards
From: Astoria Greengrass
I’m afraid I can’t make it this afternoon, some things have come up that I have to take care of today. Have fun though.
x,
Astoria
Parvati PatilI hope lots of people are planning to enter the pumpkin carving contest next weekend. I still haven’t decided on my design yet, but I want to do something fun!
Taliesyn RobardsWarded to Dorothy Spinks
I have invited Romilda over for Sunday lunch.
Wait we don’t even have four dining room chairs.
I’m going out to buy a chair.
And some groceries.
Anything you need?
Terence HiggsI don’t know how I could have shoplifted anything without knowing about it. Why doesn’t anyone talk about the stall holder making me pay two galleons for the loaf of bread that I supposedly tried to steal so he wouldn’t make a fuss — I’m a real victim here. That’s extortion!
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Witch Weekly
Roni SmethleyThat article in Witch Weekly is not very nice! I think I dress pretty! So do Megan and George and Percy.
Why would the write something so mean about us? I didn’t do anything to them!
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Romilda VaneWarded to Taliesyn Robards
Sunday lunch was really nice. Thanks for inviting me.
I think we had a pretty productive afternoon, too. I wish I could have stayed longer instead of having to go get ready for work at the Grotto.
Zach SmithTo: Wayne Hopkins, Louisa Macnair
From: Zacharias Smith
Dear Wayne and Louisa,
If you have the time, I would be glad if you two would join me for dinner this Friday evening. No dress code or anything like that. Just dinner and chit-chat. Fuck I’m so bored.
Regards,
Zacharias
Jennie HopkinsI’m bored. Readings are half off this week, or until I am no longer bored. (Palm, Tarot, tea leaves.) Accepting walk-in appointments in the evenings. 4 Badger Den Road. Candle in the window means I’m available.
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Heidi MacDonaldsWho: Heidi MacDonald, Jennie Hopkins
Where: 4 Badger Den Road
When: Evening
Maybe it wasn’t the most sensible of ideas to visit someone you’d stolen from… but Heidi wasn’t exactly known for being sensible. And it wasn’t as if she was wearing the shoes she’d picked up off Jennie’s lawn — those were at home, pushed to the very back of her wardrobe, and she only wore them on nights out when she wasn’t in Helga’s Hill. She wasn’t stupid.
Seeing the candle lit up in the window, Heidi had eagerly knocked on Jennie’s front door this evening, keen to know what was in her stars. Sure, she was all for making her own destiny, but it helped to know a little of what was coming, right?
“So tell me,” she interrupted Jennie, who was poring over the cards spread out on the table between them. “Is Christian Cavanaugh going to fall madly in love with me at the Curl and the Flame premiere party?”
Ernie MacmillanI apologise for causing a scene at trivia night.
I did not know the table would flip so easily.
And I still think Dorothy Spinks cheated. I don’t know how, but I just know, alright? And don’t tell me ‘it’s only trivia’, if it’s only trivia, why did you participate? I suppose match-fixing is fine and well if you don’t care about Quidditch, eh? And what a convenient excuse for everyone to jump on — she’s a Ravenclaw, of course she knows everything, that’s what Ravenclaws do — MADDENING!
Stephen CornfootSome things need to be seen to be believed.
Mick getting slapped just for ordering a coffee is one of them, especially when the person doing the slapping is one of the most mild-mannered people I know.
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Sally-Anne PerksToday was MORTIFYING. I don’t know what came over me.
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Terence HiggsWarded to Dorothy Spinks
Good morning, my favourite little Legilimens.
That was quite a show at trivia.
We should talk.
Wayne HopkinsTo: Zacharias Smith
From: Wayne Hopkins
Dear Zach,
Thanks for having us. I’ll return the favour with a dinner party soon.
Louisa seemed happy, right? We had kind of a weird thing a few weeks ago but I think it’s better now. And we had a really good time at the pumpkin carving competition today. So really it’s fine, I shouldn’t worry about it.
Anyway thanks again and good luck with the case.
Wayne
Wayne HopkinsWhy yes, my girlfriend is the best pumpkin carver in Helga’s Hill! How astute of you to notice.
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Katie BellCan someone please tell Sasha Capper that I already have a girlfriend? I don’t mind hearing about how amazing I am, but she was bordering on creepy this afternoon at the pumpkin carving competition.
(Speaking of — did they manage to reattach your finger, Alicia?)
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Romilda VaneWhy, oh why, do I not have anyone to bring me breakfast in bed? Preferably starting with tea. Tea is essential when you have two jobs, a research project and other miscellaneous studying.
Sisters? Please?
Private
I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Damn him and his attractive brain and nice cologne.
Astoria GreengrassWhich sounds less unpleasant, hiking or canoeing? If you were being tricked into had to choose to do one or the other, which I’m not saying I’m agreeing to do.
Stephen CornfootIt appears that I’ve been sent an invitation to the premiere of The Curl and the Flame. Not quite what I expected to see in the post when I arrived at the office this morning.
Warded to Mandy Brocklehurst
Will you go with me?
Heidi MacDonaldsHey Jennie, what did you say your missing shoes looked like? Because there’s a killer pair of heels in the lost property room at the DMLE. Might be worth checking out!
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Jennie HopkinsDid someone spike the water supply again? Because Wicks Wickersham just tried to introduce his tongue to my tonsils.
Words that come to mind:
flattered
confused
concerned
vaguely impressed, if he did it of his own volition
So that was kind of disturbing, but at least I got my shoes back!
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Wayne HopkinsWarded to Louisa Macnair
You don’t mind that we’re not going to the premiere, right? It’s just that it’s going to be crowded and full of people I know listening to people I know act out my parents’ sex fantasies about people I know, so. It’s something I want to do approximately a thousand times less than I want to just stay in and get takeaway with you.
But I was thinking, my parents are going to stay in town that night and we’re going out for brunch Sunday, and I was thinking maybe you’d like to come? It’s OK if you’d rather not but I just thought I’d ask. In case you wanted to.
Taliesyn RobardsAre these new juices fattening? Because I’ve had four three two already and it’s not even lunchtime.
Katie BellWow. I guess Percy really took that Witch Weekly article to heart.
Either that or I just had a really vivid hallucination.
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Gwen MontgomeryTerence, why is my ex-boyfriend Sebastian Stebbins asleep in my room?
Christian CavanaughPrivate
11.00 — Haircut.
13.00 — Lunch with Nora. Her place.
— Take wine?
17.00 — Final robes fitting.
19.30 — TFTC premiere, Helga’s Hill.
Ben MacnairIt looks like we are no closer to finding out if Christian Cavanaugh is gay or straight. I’m leaning towards asexual. How else could he resist both my charms and Jennie’s, ahem, charms?
Warded to Jennie Hopkins
Sorry for staring at your charms. I was surprised, and I don’t have much familiarity with charms. I still maintain it’s cheating, though, getting your charms out like that.
Warded to Wayne Hopkins
It wasn’t my fault, I swear. I had nothing to do with it.
Warded to Louisa Macnair
Oh, did you miss a party last night!
Sally-Anne PerksThere’s so many celebrities in town! I think I literally just served coffee to half a Quidditch team. It’s all very exciting, but I think I might faint if Christian Cavanaugh comes in at all.
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Terence HiggsWho: Terence Higgs, Sebastian Stebbins
Where: The Grotto
When: Evening
“Stebbins is my buddy. His family sells whiskey and mine sells hangover potions. It’s a match made in heaven.”
WWN
Dot SpinksTo: Various residents of Helga’s Hill
From: Taliesyn Robards and Dorothy Spinks ANONYMOUS!
[All messages written with a Dictaquill, so no clues from the handwriting!]
Wayne HopkinsTo: Zacharias Smith
From: Wayne Hopkins
Zach,
Did you send me a weird owl in the middle of the night? Because it wasn’t Louisa, and it sounds like probably it’s a joke, but I just figured I’d… check.
Assuming it wasn’t you and you’re not trying to leave the country, I decided I’d finally do this dinner party on Wednesday night. I’m about to write to everyone else about it but you’re still not using your journal, right? I don’t know how you feel about a dinner party with Hannah and Ernie and all but… hopefully everyone can make it and get along. See you then?
— Wayne
Louisa MacnairWarded to Wayne Hopkins
Maybe I shouldn’t go. Maybe it is too soon. Maybe I should only date other children of Death Eaters. Maybe they’ll be tired from the party.
Dot SpinksWarded to Taliesyn Robards
We have unleashed chaos on this small provincial town.
I foresee great things in our future.
Alex DerrickHow long are the after-effects of splinching supposed to hurt for? They sent me back from the hospital on Tuesday but my leg’s still playing up. It’s all stupid Vane’s fault. I can almost sympathise with burqas.
Warded to Gwen Montgomery & Audrey Singh
Alright, which of you sent me that owl?
Barney DunstanPrivate
I think Cavanaugh is trying to steal my girlfriend and I don’t know that most people would notice since they seem to think they are dating already. And now I have an owl and it can’t be for me because it doesn’t make sense but it doesn’t make sense that it would be for Stella either unless she had done something bad and Stella doesn’t do bad things because she is nice and she loves me or maybe he just wanted to do bad things and last night meant the party he really enjoyed it. But it was addressed to me and not to Stella. Maybe he sent it to me so I would ask Stella about it and we would fight and then he would get to comfort her and if that is what happened then I shouldn’t ask her about it because that is what he wants. Or maybe he sent it to me so that Stella would find it and think that I had done something bad because she already thought I did something bad with Jennie and then we would fight about that. My brain hurts. Either way I think he wants us to fight because that would be good for him but I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT. I am not going to say anything to her well maybe I will ask some questions but not to let her know what I am asking for just so that I can feel easier about it. Barney, Stella would not cheat on you she is too nice and she loves you even if she got tipsy and even though he is very handsome and all the girls fancy him and they spend so much time together.
Warded to Sebastian Stebbins
I got this really weird owl and I don’t understand.
Warded to Stella Chambers
So how do you think last night went?
Warded to Jennie Hopkins
Sorry your dress did that thing last night. I am sure it will be fine. When you are not hungover anymore can I come for that reading?
Ben MacnairPrivate
What the hell kind of an owl is that?
Warded to Tristan Montgomery
Are you engaged to that ass?
Christian CavanaughPrivate
I’ve been trying not to read any reviews, but it seems impossible not to hear some sort of feedback for the first episode. Generally positive. Stella is going to be a real star.
Taliesyn RobardsPrivate
This afternoon Wimpole from Experimental Charms told me he was very sorry for racking up so many late fines and if I would be so kind as to “make them disappear”, he would give me a nice bottle of sherry. I said OK. I had no choice. If I said no, he wouldn’t have paid anyway, and I wouldn’t have had such a nice bottle of sherry, which would be a problem as I have already drank half of it. You can’t not have something if you have already had it. And Dot. Dot has had the other half. It would be unfair to ask for it back now. So I don’t feel bad. Besides, we’re having a party!
I want to play ‘name that quote’ but Dot says I am too drunk for literature. I AM NEVER TOO DRUNK FOR LITERATURE. I AM RAVENCLAW, HEAR ME RECITE POETRY AND TALK IN LITERARY QUOTATIONS FOR THE REST OF THE EVENING. I can do this, because “I am an omnivorous reader with a strangely retentive memory for trifles.” See? See? See me doing it? Conan Doyle. That’s one.
“You have a grand gift for silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.” Conan Doyle, again. That’s two. Hahahaha. It’s also funny because it’s true because Watson is a dog. I wonder how ACD knew that? Spooky.
Oh, journal, journal, journal, how I would love to talk to you more, but Dot has just had the greatest of great ideas. We are going to do mischief. Mischief at the post office. I offered to do mischief at the library but it’s a bit too far to walk and Watson can’t apparate because he’s too young for a licence.
We are going to send some lovely owls to people. I think it will really cheer them up to know someone is thinking of them. The game is afoot!
THAT’S THREE.
Stephen CornfootLast night was certainly interesting. I don’t believe that I am a convert to TCTF, but the production values seem very high and the people involve are all very passionate about what they’re doing.
Warded to Mandy Brocklehurst
Thank you for accompanying me last night. You looked absolutely stunning and I felt very lucky to have you on my arm.
Romilda VaneLife is so sad when you realise that you’ve nearly forgotten to plan something for your own birthday. Being an adult is awful sometimes.
I have no money and no time, which is why I’m hosting afternoon tea on Sunday*. Some of the tea might be cocktails in teacups. There will be cake and jollity and then I will skip off to work in the evening because of that whole being broke thing and I need money for pretty things** and rent.
* From 3pm onwards.
** Though please feel free to buy me pretty things.
Wayne HopkinsWarded to H98 — Zach + Louisa
So I know this is kind of late notice but is everyone free for a dinner party Wednesday night? Crispin mentioned he was going to be working late so I figured it was good timing, and also I think I promised this like a month ago but stuff came up. But this way at least I’m doing it before the month is over, right?
I’ve been told I’m not allowed to make it a potluck but if you WANTED to bring like a bottle of wine or something extra for dessert or something I wouldn’t say no. But if no one brings anything I promise there will still be plenty of food.
And Zach doesn’t have his journal right now but he’s invited too, so don’t just so you know.
Ernie MacmillanWill anyone still obsessed by the table flipping incident let it go. I don’t understand what you are playing at with your weird attempt at mockery/flirtation. It’s old hat, frankly.
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Susan BonesIt’s funny how much difference an hour makes at this time of year! It feels strange to suddenly be locking up Heaven Scent in the pitch dark, but I suppose it is November in a few days. These last few months have absolutely flown by. I swear it was summer not that long ago!
Don’t get me wrong — I’m looking forward to winter too! I’ve been working on some new ideas for the shop, which I’m very excited about. Also, Heaven Scent will be opening late two nights a week throughout November and December, so that people who work all day can still get their Christmas shopping done during the week. I’m thinking Tuesdays and Thursdays we’ll be open until 7pm, but this isn’t set in stone just yet — if anyone has any feedback, I’ll always listen to what my customers want!
Which reminds me, I really need to make a decision about Frankfurt
Oh, and to the person who sent me that anonymous owl — thank you so much for your concern, but I already knew that! ♥
Warded to Tom Pippin
Am I right in thinking that J. Pippin’s Potions is usually present at the International Potions Trade Fair in Frankfurt?
Warded to Mandy Brocklehurst
How is Frankie’s costume coming along? Have you finished it yet?
Warded to Hannah Abbott
So much for Wayne’s dinner party What did he do this time? Or daren’t I ask?
