December 2001

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 1 December 2001

Orpington confesses to murder

Gavin Orpington confesses that he murdered his uncle in a fit of rage

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 1 December 2001

WOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT GAVIN’S CONFESSION INSTEAD OF WHO WAS SECRETLY SNOGGING WHO OR SNEAKING OFF TO HAVE SEX? BECAUSE I THINK THE FORMER IS A MUCH MORE WORTHY TOPIC OF CONVERSATION.

AJ Singh
@aka_aj 1 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Lavender Brown
From: AJ Singh

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 1 December 2001

One murderer taken into custody and dozens of couples set up for happily ever after*. Not a bad night’s work.

To the couple that snuck upstairs — so sorry for interrupting but Higgs started that superstition so you weren’t missing out on anything special. Though I’m sure you’ll still get the benefit of the two “traditional” superstitions so all’s not lost.

*Happily ever after not guaranteed — take it up with Helga herself if you feel cheated.

Michael Corner
@gatsbyed 1 December 2001

Well then.

Happy birthday to me, I suppose.

Amelia Higgs
@stillmisshiggs 2 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Terence Higgs
From: Amelia Higgs

Read more

Felicity Eastchurch
@candyfliss 2 December 2001

It’s so beautiful and festive outside!

Matilda Vane
@likemattie 2 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Idris Robards
From: Matilda Vane

This is why my kind of image is better than yours.
M.

[OOC: Mattie’s photographs were actually taken by these talented people.]

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 2 December 2001

I have felt very paternal these last couple of days.

Today I saw two kids slip over in the snow and I utterly failed to laugh. I winced. And then I wanted to buy them ice-cream. Or a Firebolt each.

Stephen Cornfoot
@beforeitwascool 2 December 2001

While I don’t wish to comment on Gavin Orpington specifically, I do hope that the weekend’s revelation allows the town to move on. I have come to greatly appreciate this community during my time here and I think it has a bright future ahead of it.

Cecilia Robards
@gawainrobards 3 December 2001

I hope those of you who got what you wanted at the Blue Moon Ball keep in mind how quickly the wind can turn. Please don’t fall into the trap of thinking, since they’re your soul-mate, everything in the relationship will be all sunshine all the time. Smug complacency will lead to disillusionment and suffering.

I have plenty of further warnings advice but let’s see how you get on left to your own devices first, eh?

Also, being so close to Christmas, spare a thought for the two people whom you owe your existence to while you’re busy being excited about your new lives with your freshly minted true love. They may enjoy thoughtful gifts! Perhaps you could even call upon them if you have some time away from being busy and important.

Emelda Vane
@describe 4 December 2001

Owing to circumstances, everyone will be getting handmade presents for Christmas this year. Sisters, please stay out of my room until further notice!

P.S. Can someone teach me how to crochet?

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 5 December 2001

The hero and the villain

The heroic work of Henry Radford wore down the murderer of Gavin Orpington with his relentless investigation skills. But why is the DMLE so quiet?

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 5 December 2001

If you’re looking for ideas for your Christmas gifts, here’s one: gift certificates for a Divination consultation with yours truly. Your giftee can redeem them in the form of their choosing— palm, Tarot, or tea leaves. (I can’t See shit in a crystal ball. Don’t ask me to try.) 20% off when you buy three or more — if you’re interested you can find me at the front desk at Sampson and Delilah most days.

Now who knows a good charm for selective deafness? Because we’ve only been playing Christmas music on loop for five days but if we have to keep this up until the 25th I think I may have to kill myself.

Portia Diggle
@portraying 5 December 2001

I thought Penny was too pregnant to do, well, anything, but today she cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, reorganised the pantry and the linen closet, and right now she’s cooking about three different things at once which she informs me she’s going to freeze. She was also talking about putting up new curtains in the lounge but I think I’ve managed to talk her out of that because the thought of her standing on a chair scares the hell out of me. The whole thing is kind of alarming, actually. Is this normal? I feel tired just watching her.

Oh, and if I never hear the words Braxton Hicks again it will be too soon.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 5 December 2001

I’m going to be in the kitchen today making up some tasty Christmas treats for the coffee shop.

First on my list is gingerbread. I think I’m going to make gingerbreadmen and also gingerbread BADGERS because I think they will look super cute with Christmas hats iced onto them.

Felicity Eastchurch
@candyfliss 6 December 2001

What is that noise? Heidi, can you hear that?

Susan Bones
@ambrosial 6 December 2001

Since everyone else brought up the subject of Christmas presents, it would be rather remiss of me not to mention all the fabulous gifts we have at Heaven Scent! Our Candy Cane bubble bath will actually turn your bathwater red and white striped, whereas the Snowball bath bombs will create enough foam for you to build your own snowman from the bubbles. For the citrus lovers, there’s the Oh My Darling Clementine range, and anyone who’s a fan of glitter should take a look at the Sugar Plum Fairy products. And, if you’ve already shopped till you’ve dropped, there’s always my Good For The Sole foot soak to ease your weary feet.

And as if all that wasn’t incentive enough, everyone who buys something between now and Christmas will be entered into a prize draw to win a basket of goodies for the New Year!

If there are still any men reading at this point, I’d just like to point out that December tends to be the month when we see the most men cross the threshold, so don’t be shy, gents! If you’re looking for a present for the special women in your life but don’t have a clue what to buy, either myself or my two lovely shop assistants will be more than happy to help you pick something out.

Katie Bell
@heatproof 7 December 2001

Happy birthday Alicia!

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 7 December 2001

RP: On the street where you live

Who: Andrei Capper
Where: From the Salty Badger, down Badger Den Road, up to Felicity’s building
When: Late evening

Andrei stumbled out of the Salty Badger, feeling both on top of the world and also like he’d enjoy lying down and not moving for a while. Some fresh air would clear his head. He set off toward his house.

Life was OK. He didn’t care about Romilda’s new boyfriend once he’d gotten over the shock. Why shouldn’t she have a little fun? Not too much fun. But a little fun. The amount of fun just below the level before he’d be totally erased from her memories, because, well, “why would I need those anymore?”

Read more

Mandy Brocklehurst
@callmemandy 8 December 2001

Hello! My name is Frankie! This is my sister’s journal and this is Daisy’s special quill. Daisy and I are selling peppermint hot cocoa today so you should come buy some!

Daisy will also draw your portrait, if you like!

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 8 December 2001

If you’ve recently lost a shoe, I’ve got it.

Dot Spinks
@dotdotdash 8 December 2001

It’s winter!

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 9 December 2001

RP: You + Me = ?

Who: Taliesyn Robards, Romilda Vane
Where: Robards HQ, Vane House
When: Late evening

Cecilia had invited all her friends over for dinner and to view the portraits that Gawain had commissioned. Dinner was almost tolerable but the portrait viewing was excruciating for Tali. He felt the artist had not captured his essence at all. This normally would have been met with resignation and a shrug of the shoulders, if the artist hadn’t made him look far better, thus leading to an alarming amount of fawning, and many, many suggestions as to what he could do to align more closely with his two-dimensional self.

Unsurprisingly, his own suggestion that he offer Daisy his palette and paints and let her dab whatever colours on his face as she pleased was not met with approval.

Tali excused himself, ostensibly to use the bathroom, but now that he had disappeared upstairs they probably wouldn’t be awaiting his speedy return. He wandered into Cary’s room, shook out a miniaturised book from up his sleeve and was intent on reading when the view from the window caught his attention instead.

It so happened Romilda’s room faced in this direction. He pushed the curtains open further. He was about to call out when he realised what a dumb idea that was. She wouldn’t hear. He pressed his face against the glass. Maybe if he thought ‘LOOK THIS WAY LOOK THIS WAY LOOK THIS WAY’ really hard…

Read more

Emelda Vane
@describe 10 December 2001

RP: Unjustly afraid

Who: Taliesyn Robards, Emelda Vane
Where: Vane House
When: Morning

Emelda was known for being scatterbrained and something of a daydreamer — a reputation that was entirely justified, as this morning she’d gone to work without her folder full of notes on the article she was currently working on. Shaking her head over how silly she was, she Apparated back home, arriving at the foot of the stairs.

Now, had she left the folder in her bedroom, or on the dining room table…? As she stood there, lost in thought, a movement at the top of the stairs caught her eye and she automatically looked up. It took a moment for her brain to process what she was seeing. There was a man there, crouched over.

Emelda screamed.

Read more

Wayne Hopkins
@awkwardsoup 11 December 2001

Read more

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 11 December 2001

I think I’ve drunk too much coffee or I’m just really jittery after being in the courtroom. Does anyone want to go to the Grotto and do some dancing because I have too much energy and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to sleep tonight?

Parvati Patil
@sovatish 12 December 2001

It’s icy out there this morning! As a result, my shoes are depressingly sensible today.

But it’s really, really hard to worry about the weather when my little countdown keeps getting closer to the big day! This weekend we’re going to Dorset to finalise the wedding cake and then we’re going to book our honeymoon. So exciting!

Wayne Hopkins
@awkwardsoup 12 December 2001

Has anyone seen Portia Diggle?

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 12 December 2001

Anyone who saw Penny fall today she is okay Alex and I took her to St Mungo’s and she is happy and had a baby!!!!

But I will let her tell everyone about the baby when she is okay to write because it is not my job to do that I just didn’t want anybody to worry.

Portia Diggle
@portraying 12 December 2001

RP: The whole time?

Who: Portia Diggle, Wayne Hopkins
Where: Outside the Diggle home
When: Evening

Portia had had a pretty good day. After all, what was the point of being a celebrity if you couldn’t do something spontaneous and extravagant like get a last minute portkey to Paris for some serious Christmas shopping? As the day had gone on she’d thought about Penny less and less, burying all her guilt and worry in a spending spree.

Now, clutching her many bags and feeling very satisfied with her purchases, she Apparated into the street a little way down from her house. Penny found it difficult to sleep these days so Portia didn’t like to Apparate directly into their house in case she was napping and the noise woke her. As she approached her house she was surprised to see a figure sat on the front doorstep. “Wayne? What in Salazar’s name are you doing?”

Read more

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 14 December 2001

Hatched, Matched & Dispatched

PENELOPE DIGGLE is delighted to announce the birth of a healthy baby girl, POPPY JOY, at 5:35pm on Thursday 12th December 2001. She measured 18 inches and weighed 7 lb 8 oz. Grateful thanks to the caring staff at St Mungo’s Hospital.

Read more

Penny Diggle
@portraying 14 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Veronica Smethley, Alexander Derrick
From: Penelope Diggle

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 14 December 2001

My twin sister is getting married today! What the hell, where did the time go???

Shit I better write a speech.

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 14 December 2001

RP: Wedding reception

Who: Astoria Greengrass, Cary Robards
Where: Sabina Capper’s wedding
When: Afternoon

Some people might have found it trying to help plan a friend’s wedding (and shower, and hen night) so soon after a breakup. But to Astoria it was at least a welcome distraction and a way to keep busy, now that she had neither a job nor marathon makeout sessions with Cary to help her pass the time.

After the ceremony she’d hugged and kissed Sabina and said she was so, so happy for her — and she’d really meant it. Her eyes had welled up with happy tears and she’d laughed and cried at the same time but then she’d found it rather hard to stop. In the crowd of well-wishers she’d managed to discreetly slip away and down an empty hallway, where she leaned against the wall and wrapped her arms around herself and tried to sob very very quietly, because this was Sabina’s wedding, and it wouldn’t do to make a spectacle of herself. She still didn’t feel sad exactly — she didn’t know what she felt, except that she had the peculiar but certain feeling that if she could just cry it out for a bit longer she’d be able to collect herself and put on a smile and go fuss over Sabina at the reception like she should. She just had to get through it first. It was involuntary, like having a coughing fit.

She thought she heard footsteps approaching and she quickly held her breath and wiped away her tears, unknowingly smearing a dark line of mascara all across her cheek as she did so.

Read more

Dot Spinks
@dotdotdash 15 December 2001

Best birthday present ever!

Sebastian Stebbins
@sebsteb 15 December 2001

I may have accidentally started a war.

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 16 December 2001

German expert consults on Orpingon murder case

A spokesperson from DMLE reports that they have brought in an outside Imperius expert, Karl Kalb, from Germany to examine Gavin Orpington. Kalb has confirmed the use of the Imperius and broken the strong dark magic used on the young Mister Orpington. He has retracted his confession and been released.

Cary Robards
@gawainrobards 16 December 2001

It seems there is nothing here for me now so it’s back on the road for me. Going to spend Christmas in the sun! Looking forward to it. Don’t worry; I won’t forget to send some pictures of sunny blue sky while you’re all sneezing into your scarves.

Adios amigos.

Humphrey Winfield-Hayes
@mugglebornslyth 16 December 2001

I heard a rumour that Gavin Orpington paid off that Imperius expert from Germany. Are our own forces so incompetent that we have to start bringing in foreigners? Very suspicious.

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 16 December 2001

So… only Gavin Orpington gets to be examined? Not Audrey? Not even Smith though I don’t really care about him? And they let him out? Just like that?

Hmm.

Susan Bones
@ambrosial 17 December 2001

RP: Mistletoe

Who: Susan Bones, Wayne Hopkins
Where: Heaven Scent
When: Lunchtime

“I’m just going out on a few errands!” Susan called to Blodwen, emerging from the back room and buttoning her coat. “Will you be all right for half an hour?”

Read more

Emelda Vane
@describe 18 December 2001

RP: Snooping

Who: Emelda Vane, Zacharias Smith
Where: Mayor Smith’s offices
When: Morning

Emma was snooping. It was something she did, fairly often actually, in her Pursuit Of The Truth. It was surprising what you could get away with if you acted like you belonged in a place, and she had overheard some very interesting conversations in her time.

Right now she was also on something of a Mission. She’d been after an interview with Mayor Smith for weeks and he kept avoiding her Floo calls and not returning any of her Owls. So, the only thing to do was to see if she could bump into him in person. She’d walked right into the town hall and had so far gone undetected as she nosed around.

Wandering along a corridor, looking for Mayor Smith’s office, Emma turned a corner and stopped as abruptly as if she’d walked into a trap. Which maybe she had, because she literally couldn’t move. “Oh rats,” she said softly. Busted.

Read more

Daily Prophet
@dailyprophet 19 December 2001

Arson trial suspended

A bit of good news for Helga’s Hill: the DMLE announces that, due to the revelations surrounding Gavin Orpington’s confession, they are indefinitely suspending Audrey Singh’s arson trial and the investigation into Zacharias Smith while their claims of Imperius usage are thoroughly probed.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 19 December 2001

It is too early in the morning to watch a seventy year old getting snogged outside the shop.

Portia Diggle
@portraying 21 December 2001

People are strange. I’m pretty sure all the adults in this room are capable of having a rational conversation but instead they seem more interested in pulling faces and making silly noises at an infant than talking to me about my recent success. I only have a starring role in the most popular Wireless drama right now and Witch Weekly keep writing articles about how I’m “one to watch” but apparently that pales next to Poppy grasping someone’s finger when they put it in her hand. Who cares?

I didn’t know I even had this many relatives. I suspect a lot of them are Weasley cousins who’ve crawled out of the woodwork.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 21 December 2001

Really feeling in a Christmassy mood, especially now that I’ve picked out my outfit for work tonight. A massive Christmas jumper with a belt totally counts as a dress.

Blaise Zabini
@basial 22 December 2001

After all the nonsense with snow and mistletoe, I have decided to take myself away somewhere for a touch of winter sun. A week by the pool seems like a very welcome idea.

Gawain Robards
@gawainrobards 22 December 2001

Ah, now I know why Cary wanted to leave the country.

He didn’t want to listen to Celestina Warbeck’s Christmas album over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

I will put that gramophone out of commission.

Thank Merlin for carolers. Often, when one is in chronic pain, it’s a relief to change position and experience a whole different pain.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 24 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Taliesyn Robards
From: Romilda Vane

Read more

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 25 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Felicity Eastchurch
From: Andrei Capper

To: Romilda Vane
From: Andrei Capper

To: Heidi MacDonald
From: Andrei Capper

To: Tamara Crumb
From: Andrei Capper

To: Astoria Greengrass
From: Andrei Capper

Read more

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 25 December 2001

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 26 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Cary Robards
From: Astoria Greengrass

Read more

Stephen Cornfoot
@beforeitwascool 26 December 2001

RP: Boxing Day

Who: Stephen and Leticia Cornfoot
Where: Leeds, England
When: Morning

Waking up in his childhood room was peculiar on several levels. For Stephen, returning home didn’t happen all that often and it made a nice change. At the same time, it reminded him how small his studio flat in Helga’s Hill really was. He had never intended to stay in the village this long; had things turned out differently, the Calliope Heights project would have been well underway by now, if not partially completed.

He had reasons to stay now. Mandy, obviously, and his other friends. But also the new plans for Calliope Heights. Less bold and brash than Orpington’s ideas, Stephen wanted the development to be much more in keeping with the aesthetics of the village.

As he made his way downstairs, Stephen could hear his brother snoring through the bedroom door. At least when he was asleep he wasn’t talking constantly about how great the Capper-Harper wedding had been and whatever else he had been up to. He found his mother in the kitchen, pottering around and making coffee. “Morning, Mum.”

Read more

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 26 December 2001

Ah, the sweet sound of NO MORE CHRISTMAS CAROLS. Peace on Earth indeed. Happy day after Christmas, everyone.

Emelda Vane
@describe 27 December 2001

Do the ends justify the means? This is a hypothetical question, not a rhetorical one. I am curious to hear people’s opinions because

The year is drawing to an end. In the Gregorian calendar, anyway. Whether or not you consider dates arbitrary things, I think the new year is as good a time as any to make resolutions, or at least to think about your life and your aims and goals.

I do not want to lose sight of who I am.

P.S. I hope everyone is having a restful season.

Parvati Patil
@sovatish 27 December 2001

Gavin Orpington is on the wireless at the moment. Apparently on New Year’s Eve he’s going to name the person who cast the Imperius curse on him during an exclusive broadcast.

Is it just me or does it all seem ridiculously dramatic doing it like this?

Cary Robards
@gawainrobards 28 December 2001

Owl Post

To: Astoria Greengrass
From: Cary Robards

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 29 December 2001

I am never drinking again!!!

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 30 December 2001

It’s almoooost the end of the year. Time to pause and reflect and drink a lot. I’d like to share a Muggle proverb with you:

“Always tell people you love that you love them because you might get hit by a bus tomorrow.”

So do that! Or you might die and leave them wondering.

On second thought, that seems pretty impossible, doesn’t it? There aren’t even any buses here. Maybe the closest equivalent is being eaten by a dragon but that’s very unlikely too. Unless you’re Katie. (Katie, just letting you know now that I think highly of you.)

So, in actual fact, you have plenty of time and there’ll always be a tomorrow. Rejoice!

Heidi MacDonalds
@bravehearted 31 December 2001

I’m just about to throw my gladrags on ready to go out and PARTY ALL NIGHT LONG so I know this is early but I just wanted to wish everyone a

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Here’s to a fabulous and GLITTERY 2002!!!