Ernie Macmillan@topgeek 1 January 2002
Don’t forget your resolutions!
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Blaise ZabiniLet’s move to Helga’s Hill, we said. It’ll be a nice break from busy city life, we said.
As 2002 dawns with yet another body being found on the streets of the village, I’m starting to think that making a choice about where to live should really be done sober in future.
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Parvati PatilI’m getting married this year!
2002 is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to share it will all my friends and family.
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Wayne HopkinsHere’s how I like to start the New Year: with an orgasm, two cups of coffee, and then a Tarot reading. 2002 looks promising. Steady on in career and home and family life. Not a year for taking big risks where money is concerned. Cards point to a critical juncture in the romance department, which is fitting. (It’s shit or get off the pot time with this one, don’t you think?) And the cards didn’t say anything about travel but I’m thinking it’s time to start planning a trip somewhere warm.
Happy New Year, all. Hope you’re celebrating with whatever traditions make you happy.
Warded to Wayne Hopkins
Let me do a reading for you, for the new year? Consider it a belated Christmas gift?
Ernie MacmillanWarded to H98 sans Zacharias Smith
Since Gavin Orpington’s body has not even been cold for a day I think it’s disrespectful to speculate on him so let’s talk about the fact that Zacharias is apparently dating Emelda Vane instead because what the…
AJ SinghWarded to Helga’s Heroes
OK, new year, new start. When’s the next practice?
Zach SmithNight shift. Well, that’s new. And kind of bliss, actually.
Private
Sepphora keeps prodding me about my relationship. ‘So where have you been?’ ‘Where have you taken her?’ ‘Why don’t you take her to so-and-so, it’s so nice’? ‘How come she doesn’t stay over?’
I bet Idris has put her up to this. In any normal circumstance she’d be beside herself with joy. Dad looks at me now like I’m the culmination of his life’s work. He’s going to change his will again. Any day now. That anonymous owl said all I was good at was inheriting money and damn straight I am.
Honestly, I’d recommend a fake relationship for anybody. People treat you so much better in general. Especially all the people who’ve had tragedy strike them. First thing they look for is kids. Dying of an incurable disease and you’ve got three under five? TRAGEDY. Dying of an incurable disease, no kids, no partner? … Eh. It’s like you need a lover before people believe you’re a decent human being. Is it fair? Fuck no, but I intend to take full advantage while I can.
Warded to Emelda Vane
Making up lies is hard work. Easier just to actually go somewhere and I’ll just refer to that one occasion for the next month. What do you fancy? Opera?
Taliesyn RobardsWho: Taliesyn Robards, Jennie Hopkins
Where: Jennie’s place
When: Daytime
Tali couldn’t even remember what exactly Jennie had told him at the previous reading and whether any of it had “come true”, but he did recall feeling surprisingly pleased about his life afterward, and that counted for something.
So he was back for more. He knocked politely.
Wayne HopkinsWarded to H98 + Jennie Hopkins
Shit, Louisa’s birthday is REALLY SOON and I just used all my present ideas on Christmas. Help.
Parvati PatilI am so excited about the lovely presents that I bought for my bridesmaids yesterday! And I got their jewellery for the big day. One month and ten days to go!
Private
No matter what Jennie Hopkins and her tarot cards might say, there will be no dark clouds over my wedding day, literal or metaphorical. This wedding will be PERFECT and no-one is going to ruin it.
Romilda VaneIt’s Monday morning. J Pip’s is open. Come buy potions. Or even just a sugar free lollipop.
We’ve got plenty of cold and flu remedies in stock for people who like to be prepared (or are feeling a little under the weather).
In other news, my coffee was just a liiiittle bit strong this morning.
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Zach SmithWho: Zacharias Smith, Emelda Vane
Where: Harpies v Tornadoes match
When: Afternoon
Zacharias was glad the match was a swift one. Any longer and the pangs might be back. I could have done that better, he’d think, every time a Chaser missed a shot, and while the Australian League wasn’t on par with Britain’s, it was a damn sight more true for him than the thousands of other dreamers.
He stood up and clapped politely with the crowd after the Snitch was caught. Well, that was pleasant enough. He had no team so the result didn’t cause any great anger or joy. The man seated beside looked impatient to leave but Zach ignored him. He turned to Emelda.
“Far better than Hogwarts, isn’t it?”
Zach SmithThe article didn’t mention they were Australian. I think that casts the whole episode into a completely different light.
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Barney DunstanChristmas was good except that just before it I got in a mess with wrapping paper and spellotape and had to wait for Stella to get me out. She took ages to find me because she is so busy always. The day was nice I saw my family as well as Stella and had a nice time but there was no snow so we couldn’t have a snowball fight and we just played tag instead. New Year was also good except that someone died but it wasn’t someone I know so it is not that upsetting except that it seems quite violent around here, doesn’t it? I suppose Adair might be upset but I have only met her a couple of times with Stella and don’t really know her very well but she seems nice unlike Christian. It is very cold and so I am having to spend a lot of time trying to keep the cows warm because they don’t like it and neither do the ducks. They are not on the pond anymore they are huddling together in their little house so I have put some blankets on it and a warming charm. Also their water keeps freezing and also the water of the cows so I have to keep going and defrosting it so they don’t get thirsty poor things. It is hard to be an animal. One of the cows seemed very upset so I brought him into the house for a bit to warm up and he did but then he wanted to go back outside I suppose because houses are not made for cows and they are not sure about the furniture or something. Some of the vegetables have also got frostbite but I saved most of them with some warming charms and little covers so if you want to make some hot soup then I will be selling vegetables for that in the market on Saturday. I hope everyone is well.
Stephen CornfootIt has been a long week and today has felt like the longest day of them all. Tonight, though, I get to enjoy dinner with the most amazing witch I know.
For the benefit of those ghouls I heard gossiping this morning, I do indeed have a will. It seemed necessary.
Private
With the obvious exception of Mandy, this week has been a trial of who is more tedious, lawyers or architects. At least plans are moving forward. Xavier’s legacy may live on after all. Just in less gauche a fashion.
Taliesyn RobardsWho: Gawain, Cecilia, Idris, Taliesyn, and the original Mrs Robards, aka Gawain’s mum
Where: The Glass Slipper
When: Evening
Mary Robards did not fail to notice the looks exchanged between the hostess and all four other members of her party. They were barely in their seats before she shot out “so which one of you had a tryst with the hostess?”
“Not me,” said Idris and Tali simultaneously. They shot each other a look. Tali, one of surprise, and Idris, one of annoyance.
Mary looked around the group. Her eyes narrowed. “Who’s missing?” It came to her. “Cecilia, I see you’ve lost one.”
Wayne HopkinsIf you see Louisa today you should wish her a happy birthday, because that’s what today is.
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Alex DerrickPrivate
Every time I close my eyes.
Fuck.
I wonder how long it will take people to notice I’m not leaving my house. I’m already having to alternate between the food delivery places ever since that one pizza guy started asking too many questions.
Funeral didn’t give ‘closure’ or whatever the fuck it’s supposed to do.
Fuck.
Louisa MacnairThank you all the people who wished me happy birthday yesterday because Wayne told them to. For the record, it’s his birthday in a couple of weeks, so I’m plotting the best way to embarrass him. Who’s in?
Warded to Wayne Hopkins
That picnic was lovely, thank you.
Ben MacnairSOMEONE STOP MY SISTER AND HER BOYFRIEND BEING NAUSEATING IN PUBLIC. HELGA.
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Taliesyn RobardsHands up if you like January.
Private
I have fallen into a maelstrom of despair. A vortex of depression. A pit of melancholy. Idris has invaded my head and I can’t get him out. He’s like the latest Weird Sister song except instead of the lyrics it’s a general diatribe about my existence.
Oh God, it fits the music too.
Who cares about Windermere. I’m going to go stand on a cliff and wait for a stiff breeze.
Warded to Dorothy Spinks
I’m sorry about paint fumes. Stray socks. Muddy paw prints. Muddy footprints. Teacup stains. Eating all the jam and not replacing it. Bringing someone over when I said that would never happen. Picking at the hole in the sofa fabric so it’s now huge. Dog hair. Wet dog smell. Stray bits of kibble. Pushing the mouldy cheese to the back of the fridge instead of chucking it out. Toothpaste speckles on the bathroom mirror. The time I saw a spider and just let it go on its merry way. Painting on the wall because I was bored and didn’t have any canvas. Not emptying the bin till the first piece of rubbish falls over the edge. That time I allowed myself to be visibly upset and didn’t immediately excuse myself to spare your feelings.
I mean, if one part of Jennie’s reading came true…
Terence HiggsLet’s play a game!
WOULD YOU PREFER:
To be allowed to shower everyday but never be allowed to wash your clothes OR never be allowed to shower but have clean clothes each day?
To know the whole truth all the time OR never find out secrets?
To never be allowed to eat your five favourite foods for the rest of your life OR be allowed to eat only your five favourite foods for the rest of your life?
To always lose games OR never play games?
To be a giant hamster OR a tiny rhino?
To always take a cold shower OR sleep an hour less than you need to be fully rested?
To be able to hear any conversation OR take back anything you say?
To be able to read everyone’s mind all the time OR always know their future?
To be forgotten OR hatefully remembered?
To go about your normal day naked OR fall asleep for a year?
To forget who you were OR who everyone else was?
To have to spend the next year repeating fourth year at your current age OR spend a month in jail for a crime you didn’t commit?
To always say everything on your mind OR never speak again?
To have 365 days of rain OR 365 days of scorching heat?
Best answers get a prize!
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Cecilia RobardsGoing on a second honeymoon. Well, maybe not quite second. Does it still count as a honeymoon if you couldn’t take your husband with you the first time, or is it merely a holiday?
Behave yourselves while I’m gone. Don’t make me have to Floo your parents when I get back. xx
Warded to Percy Weasley
As of Friday morning you are in charge of the whole Auror department for the next 21 days. Do not owl. Do not Floo. Do not try to contact us at all or so help me Merlin I will make you pay.
If another Dark Lord should present himself, I believe you have one Harry Potter to get on the case.
Sally-Anne PerksIt’s a bit grey and rainy out today, so as a special treat I’ve made the cutest little cakes with umbrellas iced on them and I think they’re the perfect treat to have with your coffee! If it is raining tomorrow, I might try to make ones with wellies on them, but I don’t think that’s quite as much fun.
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Romilda VaneWarded to Sisters Vane
If I’m not home much over the next few weeks (after this weekend, anyway), it’s not because I’m suddenly working even more super crazy hours. Chances are I’ll be next door at the Robardses’ house with Tali. If anyone touches my stash of sun dried tomatoes, I’ll know, by the way.
Warded to Heidi MacDonald
On a scale of one to people who thought there should have been a Harmony/Harriet sex scene, how crazy am I for basically agreeing to move in with Tali for the next couple of weeks while his parents are away??? He’s going to get so bored of me, isn’t he???
Taliesyn RobardsThere is just something infinitely satisfying about hearing the chlick-fwsssssh sound as a sealed jar lid gives way in your grasp.
And now I have 87 open jars to either somehow reseal or consume the contents of in the next few days. What should I have for dinner — a jar of pickles or a jar of olives?
Private
It started entirely innocently. I thought I’d save money and have lunch at home. Went home to make myself a jam sandwich. Brand new jam jar! Not to worry. I know there’s a spell for this. But I’ve forgotten it. Well, I’m not going to eat plain bread so I give it a go manually.
I flick a wrist and it pops and slides open. Click-fwsssssh.
Wow. That was kind of unexpected, actually. No dish towel for grip, no leaning against the wall for leverage. Barely strained.
Hmm. I wonder what else I can…?
I go through the cupboards and open every jar I find.
Click-fwssssh.
Click-fwssssh.
Click-fwssssh.
Well, that’s nice, I think, as I survey my little hodge-podge collection of victories. But it’s not enough, is it? It doesn’t prove anything. An idea occurs to me.
I go to Golden Apples and ask every shopkeep to bring me any product that comes in a jar. Cart them all home. I don’t have much time.
I place them all on the bench top. I line them up. I get to work.
Click-fwssssh.
Click-fwssssh.
Click-fwssssh.
And on and on it goes, first in rapid succession, leaving me giddier and giddier after each lid falls off, then with a little more effort, a little discomfort, a little more swearing — yet eventually they all succumb — till there is one left.
Madam Borboleta Candies Ltd’s Sugared Sensations.
I know this product. As a child it taunted me by daring to be displayed in full view and within easy reach. I had practically torn the skin off my palms trying to unscrew the lid. Even Idris couldn’t find a way.
I should have known it would come down to this. I put a hand on it. Firm. Solid. Uncompromising.
I grip the lid. I’m going nowhere. My hands start to chafe.
C’mon, I voice, as I remember I should twist from the elbow and not the wrist, yield.
And then… Click. Fwssssh.
I am triumphant. From now on I will walk the streets with the air of person who knows they can make every kind of foodstuff from every kind of jar from every kind of company in this town capitulate with brute force.
Brute force. Oh, that’s heady stuff.
Taliesyn RobardsWarded to Romilda Vane
I think you should relocate next door with me for the next three weeks. Or without me. I don’t have to be there. No wait, that’d be odd. But you might like the extra space. Not that your house is cramped. No, it isn’t. But one of your sisters also has a boyfriend now so…
And when I say that you should, I’m not really making any value judgment. It’s just a suggestion. Not even that. More of a idle thought.
Actually, maybe it’s a silly thought. Pretend I said nothing.
Gwen MontgomeryKATIE BELL.
I was so wrapped up in wedding and engagement party which is less than a week away prep that I completely missed your birthday and I am choosing to publicly shame myself for it. Right now. Enjoy this moment. And allow me to take you out for the alcohol and fried or greasy food of your choice.
And everyone else, say happy birthday to Katie.
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Hannah AbbottOkay, I don’t scare easily, but a mouse running all over the counters in a restaurant is not acceptable.
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Jennie HopkinsIs it just me or did the Prophet’s ‘summary’ today just make things more confusing than ever? And for once they weren’t throwing around wild accusations which is really what I like to enjoy over my morning coffee.
So, entertain me, please. CONSIDERING all the facts that the Prophet has oh-so-helpfully laid out, what do you think…
1. WHO killed Xavier Orpington?
2. WHO was imperio’ing people all over town?
3. WHO killed Gavin Orpington?
And yes, I realise your answer might be the same for all three. But it might not! Let’s hear it. Motives are a bonus.
And don’t be shy or worry about hurting anyone’s feelings. Everyone in this town has been accused of murder often enough that they should be pretty used to it by now. And if anyone hasn’t been yet, they should get to feel included.
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Gwen MontgomeryTo: Hannah Abbott, Katie Bell, Susan Bones, Mandy Brocklehurst, Lavender Brown, Andrei Capper, Sasha Capper, Stella Chambers, Michael Corner, Tamara Crumb, Alexander Derrick, Portia Diggle, Barney Dunstan, Felicity Eastchurch, Seamus Finnigan, Astoria Greengrass, Daphne Greengrass, Megan Jones, Heidi Macdonald, Ernie Macmillan, Benjamin Macnair, Louisa Macnair, Eloise Midgen, Parvati Patil, Sally-Anne Perks, The Robards family, Andrew Singh, Audrey Singh, Veronica Smethley, The Smith Family, Dorothy Spinks, Lucinda Vane, George Weasley, Verity Weasley, Veronica Whitaker, Wenceslas Wickersham, Humphrey Winfield-Hayes, Blaise Zabini, & other friends, family, and society acquaintances of Gwen and Terence (or Terence’s parents).
From: Gwen Montgomery, Terence Higgs
AJ Singh10% off at the Jewel of India all week. Dine-in only. 20% off if your name is Katie Bell and you recently had a birthday.
Come see for yourself our total lack of mice, rats, and rodents of all kinds.
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Tamara CrumbOh bloody hell.
A pipe burst in our house, there’s tonnes of damage, my parents are freaking out, and Adelaide has decided she wants to sit and play in the dirty water.
Can someone please distract me?
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Isolde MontgomeryNow that the invitations have gone out, Gwen’s attention has taken an unnerving swerve towards our PLUS ONES. As if anyone knows who their date to a wedding will be more than two months in advance! That sort of forethought and planning is likely to ruin my reputation as a aimless social butterfly.
But she’s the bride and she’s my sister, so…
Available: 2 Montgomery Twins. Gorgeous. Very good condition. Each model comes standard with:
- A banging bod
- Killer legs
- Dancing skills
- The potential for slutty bridesmaid behavior
- Fluent Welsh
Uglies, creepers, leches, dickheads, and emotional fuckwits need not apply. (Especially not Tom Pippin as he is all of the above.)
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Katie BellHey Gwen? Not that friendship’s a competition or anything, but look at me remembering your birthday on the actual day. No public shaming for me!
Everybody else, say happy birthday to Gwen!
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Louisa MacnairJust thought I’d do this in public to wind my brother up.
Wayne, do you want to go to Gwen’s wedding with me on March 23rd? As a couple, you know, because that’s what we are. We can kiss and everything.
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Alex DerrickAs if there isn’t enough for me to deal with already Well, I guess this is it. So long, Helga’s Hill, most dangerous village in Britain and home to so many inept law enforcement officials I sometimes feel like I’m living on an old sitcom. My landlord has given me notice and I suspect that my lack of fixed income or indeed, any I can declare is going to be a stumbling block for all the others. I’d say it was nice knowing you, but… well, it’s been a mixed bag, hasn’t it? I will miss you, though.
Andrei CapperWarded to Heidi, Tamara, Romilda & Felicity
Hey ladies, yeah why are you all ladies? ‘Cause that bastard Cary has deserted me again, of course it’s 10% off at the Jewel this week. We should all go out for a curry tonight. I’m buying. Say yes.
Astoria GreengrassIf you wanted to dine at the Glass Slipper for Valentine’s Day but haven’t made your reservations yet, sorry. You’re too late.
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Wayne HopkinsWarded to Emelda Vane
Do you mind if I ask, are you still fake dating Zacharias? Why?
Emelda VaneWarded to Zacharias Smith
Would you care to explain why you told Wayne our relationship was fake when I have been deceiving my friends and family for weeks because you said this had to be a secret?
Parvati PatilI have a cold. I also don’t have time for this.
Someone bring me Pepper-Up Potion. And maybe a pastry.
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Taliesyn RobardsI hope you all remember that Saturday is St Dwynwen’s Day. If you feel it’s important to remember. And you’ve got plans. If you feel that it’s important to have plans. Or that you are the beneficiary of plans. If you feel you should expect any plans.
Though, I must say, it feels a little weird to be celebrating it if you know the real story. The non-children’s version. Thanks, Idris. I was better off not knowing. Poor Dwynwen.
Private
I can’t find any thread in the exact colour I want and it’s doing my head in. Yes, I suppose I could charm them to the right shade but charms don’t last forever and if I did that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from staring because I am paranoid they will change colour at an inopportune moment. Well, at least I found the buttons before Watson ate them.
Romilda asked about the portrait. She wouldn’t if I was a bit smarter and removed the other two as well. I suppose having a blank space between Idris and Cary is a bit suspect. I told her I know nothing about a portrait. And that even if I did, I can’t show her because I don’t remember where I hid it. Well, I didn’t say the last bit out loud, obviously. Not that stupid.
The bed is for sleeping first, the other thing that beds are for, second. Every article in magazines I certainly don’t read is all ’how to get so-and-so into bed‘ and I just think, ’that’s really not the issue here. They’re already in bed — where else are they going to sleep — so what am I supposed to do now huh, huh, huh?‘
The body was confused but I’ve gotten used to it now.
What I will never get used to, though, is Romilda getting up in the middle of the night to go tend to her potion because inspiration strikes at the oddest of moments. Like, 2am. It was terrible the first time. I was quite sure there were arms around me when I went to sleep and then I woke up and they. weren’t. there.
My first thought was why didn’t I spend all my free time training Watson to do search and rescue. I went downstairs in a tizzy and there she was. Oh.
Well. I suppose I had slightly overreacted. She doesn’t know this though because I said I was sleepwalking and she was dreaming I was sleepwalking so I was doubly not present. I went back upstairs and lay down staring wide-eyed at the ceiling forever until I heard footsteps and then I rolled over and snored a bit because only people who are fast asleep snore. Then the arms came back so I’m fine now, really.
But seriously she should leave a note next time.
Zach SmithIn honour of St Dwynwen’s Day, I shall henceforth be treating anyone plus whomever they are sleeping with as a single entity. I should have thought of it like this from the start as it’s clear if you tell one half of a couple something you are really telling both of them. So to make it simpler you’re all now one person.
So welcome to Helga’s Hill Layne, Kandy, Gerity, Twen, Rali, Shenry, Starney unless Christella is actually real, Gabbie and Gidmara.
Warded to Wayne Hopkins
What the fuck were you thinking?
Wayne HopkinsWarded to Louisa Macnair
Let’s keep it just you and me for my birthday dinner, OK? I don’t want a big thing.
Sometimes I think the only people I actually like are you and Eloise.
Romilda VaneAfter some difficult arguing negotiations, I am now the happy co-owner of a truly beautiful pair of shoes. Sometimes good things can happen on grey and miserable days like yesterday.
Warded to Taliesyn Robards
Why is there a portrait of you in the airing cupboard? Is it so that the towels can appreciate your beautiful cheekbones?
Warded to Zacharias Smith
You made my sister cry. You really are as much of a dick as everyone says you are.
Taliesyn RobardsWho: Romilda Vane, Taliesyn Robards, Cary Robards
Where: Robards HQ
When: Evening
When Romilda had merely shown him the shoes Tali wasn’t impressed. He made polite noises of appreciation but they looked no different to any other pair. And two people wanted them desperately? Come on.
Then she put them on.
The effect was instantaneous. The shoes were still shoes, but the rest of Romilda was incredible. He needed to put his hands all over her right now.
Portia DiggleWarded to Alexander Derrick
No no no no no. I want your things out of my house by the end of the day or I’m tossing them out of the window and setting fire to them. Understood?
Alex DerrickWarded to Humphrey Winfield-Hayes
Mate, can I store some stuff at yours? Diggle’s threatening to set it on fire.
Barney DunstanYou know people always say nice weather for ducks when it rains but actually ducks don’t like rain although in the long run it is better for them that it rains because otherwise there would be no ponds but the same goes for us we need it to rain too but we don’t say nice weather for humans.
Warded to Stella Chambers
I’m sorry you had to work yesterday on St. Dwynenenen’s day but are you going to be able to see me on Valentine’s Day because I would really like that.
Wayne HopkinsWarded to Zacharias Smith
I’m sorry I talked to your fake Emelda about the dating thing. I really didn’t realise I wasn’t supposed to.
I’m just going to pretend I don’t know anything about it, OK? I wish I didn’t.
Emelda VaneWarded to Sisters Vane
Sorry for not coming out of my room all weekend. I am okay now.
I have something to tell you. I
Heidi MacDonaldsOkay normally Witch Weekly are spot on, but the story about Christian being Penelope Diggle’s baby daddy? Balls. He’s too much of a gentleman to abandon his baby mama! I bet he’d open the door for anyone with a baby. Anyway he works with Portia so he probably knows Penelope that way and that’s why they look so friendly in the photo.
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Wayne HopkinsWarded to Louisa Macnair
Was that you? Because if it was Jennie I’m going to kill her.
Portia DiggleWarded to Sasha Capper & Jennie Hopkins
Penny invited Alex to stay with us while he looks for a new place to live. He’s being disturbingly helpful and it’s creepy.
Should I overrule Penny and change the Wards while he’s out, or take advantage of this for as long as I can? A girl could get used to being brought breakfast in bed…
Warded to Wayne Hopkins
You’re very camera-shy, aren’t you?
Romilda VaneWarded to Heidi MacDonald
Just in case he hasn’t graced you with his presence yet, Cary is back in town. You can tell he’s been away because he’s being particularly annoying.
I sent him out with Andrei on Saturday night because I thought Andrei would appreciate the company. Turns out Andrei can’t even pull with his wingman there. I thought he might have had a bit of luck, but apparently not. Call me crazy, but I think we should help Andrei find Miss Right. Or even just Miss Right Now. Anything to stop him from being a mopey bastard because he’s not getting his end away.
Daily ProphetCalliope Heights reborn?
Will plans for a reimagined Calliope Heights will be unveiled soon? Stephen Cornfoot spotted having lunch with an architect at the Glass Slipper.
Cary RobardsTali, I know the bag and the sandwich wrap and the apple peel and the chocolate wrapper belong to you because you wrote name on them so I shall obviously return them to you. I would never take your property. The portrait was a cute touch. In case I forgot how to read, I suppose?
Some of your shirts don’t fit so I shrunk all some of them. They itch, though. Tell Mother not to starch them so much.
I did the laundry but all your socks are missing a pair. Fancy that.
Andrei, she wasn’t your type, anyway.
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Katie BellHey Cornfoot, any truth to the article in yesterday’s Prophet about you carrying on with the Calliope Heights project?
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Sylvie FawcettQuills ’N Things, you aren’t fooling anyone with the label ‘personal massager’.
Just saying.
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Taliesyn RobardsWho: Romilda Vane, Taliesyn Robards, Cary Robards
Where: Robards HQ
When: Evening
Tali took off his coat, his jumper and his tie and deposited all three items on the rack by the door. His satchel was dropped on the floor roughly, narrowing missing Watsons’s head. He strode into the kitchen.
Cary was sitting at the table. “Why are you late? When’s dinner? I’m hungry.”
Andrei CapperCasino night! Good luck to everyone tonight!
No wait. It’s usually a zero-sum game. No good luck to any of you. I wish you all bad luck. Baaaaad luck. The worst luck. Buying an ice-cream cone and seeing the scoop roll off and go splat on the floor kind of luck.
Boo to all of you.
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Romilda VaneToday I submitted the last of my potions, which means my exams are over. Hooray! And my boyfriend is no longer a bunny. Double hooray!
But I get to spend the afternoon doing a stock take, which brings me right back down to earth with a bump.
Cary, buying me falafel does not make up for me spending one of my few evenings off in St. Mungo’s. Just so you know.
Private
I have spent my whole life living with three older sisters or in a dormitory with other girls, but I’ve never seen the sort of petty (sometimes passive aggressive) bitching that goes on between two of the Robards brothers. My admiration of Cecilia has at least doubled in the last few days, because I can only imagine what it must be like when the three of them are all in the same place at the same time.
