February 2002

Emelda Vane
@describe 1 February 2002

I am sure most people have heard of the word serendipity, meaning “the accidental discovery of good things.” But did you also know that it has an opposite? The word zemblanity was created to mean “the inexorable discovery of bad things.”

So whereas serendipity can be summed up as a pleasant surprise, zemblanity is an unpleasant unsurprise. I wonder how many people felt that last night.

P.S. The house always wins.

Parvati Patil
@sovatish 3 February 2002

I can hardly believe that it’s February already!

Wayne Hopkins
@awkwardsoup 3 February 2002

RP: Confidence

Who: Wayne Hopkins, Taliesyn Robards
Where: Ministry Library
When: Afternoon

It had taken about ten minutes and he’d circled past the same bust of Rowena Ravenclaw at least three times, but at last Wayne had navigated the shelves and found himself in the quiet corner of the library he was looking for. Of course, it might have been faster if he’d asked for help, but as per usual he didn’t want to draw any attention to himself. Especially not on this errand.

He pulled a few books off the shelf in the relevant section, and held them precariously in the crook of his arm while he flipped through the pages of the one on top. If he found one that looked promising maybe he could just keep slipping away on his lunch break to read it here, and not have to… check it out and everything.

Then he thought he heard footsteps behind him, and jumped automatically, sending a few of the books clattering to the floor.

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Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 8 February 2002

RP: Amends

Who: Taliesyn Robards, Idris Robards
Where: Idris’s place
When: Evening

Everything was alright in Idris’s world. Zacharias Smith’s relationship had imploded like he always thought that it would, and since Mum had been away for three weeks no-one had been asking irritating questions about his own. He really felt ready to take the next step. And so, why not herald the beginning of a glorious new future by letting go of the past?

Tali was not difficult to corner. Idris had sent out a message saying the whole family was having dinner at his place to celebrate Mum and Dad’s return. But he only sent the message out to Tali.

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Louisa Macnair
@hedidntdoit 9 February 2002

RP: A discovery

Who: Wayne Hopkins, Louisa Macnair
Where: Wayne’s place
When: Evening

Louisa liked watching Wayne cook. She liked watching him doing a lot of things, but there was something nice about a man who could cook. Louisa was paranoid enough that anybody she dated was going expect her to be a housewife that someone who actually enjoyed cooking was… if not actually a turn on, a damn close thing.

Wayne looked up from seasoning the sauce to see Louisa watching him closely, and smiled a bit crookedly. He liked having company while he cooked, and was flattered by her interest, but as usual being the focus of anyone’s attention made him feel a bit uncomfortable. He was always more relaxed if Louisa had something she wanted to talk about, or if she was also occupied with a task. So he gave her one. “Do me a favour? Taste this—” he said, lifting the spoon from the sauce, “And then grab me the cookbook, the red one? I think I left it on my desk.”

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AJ Singh
@aka_aj 10 February 2002

I’ve had a rough day at work. Who wants to tell me a joke or a good story to get my mind off it?

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 11 February 2002

RP: Duel

Who: Taliesyn Robards, Idris Robards
Where: Out in the woods
When: Morning

It had only been a matter of minutes and Tali was already panting with the exertion. Heidi’s tutorial had succeeded only insomuch as buying time. He had been able to dodge or deflect quite a few spells that Idris threw his way but not come close to landing any blows of his own. Idris’s latest effort hit his legs. Tali felt them crumble.

So no more running behind trees then. Tali tried to get to his feet. It was pointless exercise. He could hear Idris advancing and he twisted around to face his opponent. He shuffled himself backwards till he touched upon a tree. It was a hopeless situation but somehow having something to lean against gave him some resolve.

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Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 11 February 2002

I AM THE FUCKING CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 13 February 2002

I love my customers! Which is why I’ve got lots of sweet treats lined up for tomorrow and the weekend, including some colourful stained glass heart biscuits.

Or if, like me, you’re single on Valentine’s Day and want to drown your sorrows in cake, we’ve got some yummy special offers!

Wayne Hopkins
@awkwardsoup 14 February 2002

Owl Post

To: Louisa Macnair
From: Wayne Hopkins

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 14 February 2002

Happy Birthday to my dear eldest and bestest sister. That’s why there’s hearts all over the village today, right???

Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 14 February 2002

Blah, blah, blah, love and hearts.

Enjoy your day, but don’t forget you only have ten days to get your gifts for the far more important February holiday.

That is all.

Astoria Greengrass
@headcase 14 February 2002

RP: Dining reservation

Who: Heidi MacDonald, Astoria Greengrass, Heidi’s manfriend
Where: The Glass Slipper
When: Evening

Astoria tickled her chin with the tip of her quill as she studied the reservation book. Zacharias and Emelda hadn’t been waiting long, but she knew that the longer it took her to find a table to squeeze them in, the busier the restaurant would become and the harder this whole scheme would be to pull off.

She never should have agreed to this, she thought crankily. She liked this job. It mostly depended on standing around looking pretty and then being fairly polite and organised, and that all fit pretty squarely into her limited skill set. Her bosses seemed to like her, too; not that one Muggleborn cow of a manager but the rest of them, and the bartenders made her free drinks if she’d stick around and flirt a bit after her shifts, and she even got on with most of the waitstaff, although she’d had to avoid Hans ever since she had made the poor choice to go to Casino Night with him. He was a waiter, after all — she shouldn’t have encouraged him.

She tapped the quill against her lips, still thinking, then straightened up as she spotted a couple approaching, in her peripheral vision. Ugh, so many couples tonight. “May I help you?” she said, smiling prettily at first — but then she saw that one of the guests was Heidi MacDonald, and she involuntarily pursed her lips a bit.

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Romilda Vane
@loverommie 16 February 2002

After such a good Valentine’s Day, I don’t want the weekend to end. Does it have to be Monday tomorrow?

Jennie Hopkins
@dramaticsalad 16 February 2002

Is it SO WRONG for a person to think that maybe a person’s boyfriend should be willing to at least CONSIDER the idea of PROPOSING AT SOME POINT.

Dot Spinks
@dotdotdash 17 February 2002

Thank fuck Valentine’s Day is over.

FYI: Sending live fairies through the post is illegal. Sending live doxies is insanity. Also, not in the least romantic.

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 21 February 2002

Some people do something once and think they’re experts. Luckily there wasn’t real money involved, eh?

Blaise Zabini
@basial 22 February 2002

Sometimes, this town is the absolute worst. What kind of person thinks that it is acceptable to steal someone’s cafetière?

Gawain Robards
@gawainrobards 23 February 2002

A warning to all the fellows — never let it be known to your dear wife that you may be finding your weekend a touch on the dull side, or she will suggest you spend some time with your children.

I have a couple of problems with this. A) it is no cure for boredom, B) even as some sort of chore it fails, as chores are necessary evils, and I don’t see the necessity here. Does it make the children happy? Maybe if there were still literally children, but they are not.

Quick poll: How many of you would be happy to spend more time with your parents? I’m guessing none. And please, nobody say “well I’d love to but they’re dead”, that’s just emotional blackmail.

I’m going to tell Cecilia I’d be delighted to. But not the part where I de-age them 15 years first.

Alex Derrick
@ourshadypast 25 February 2002

Poppy is just the easiest and sweetest baby you will ever meet. She sleeps, she feeds, she smiles all the time, she looks just adorable. Anybody wanting to scare their teenage daughters/sisters/miscellaneous young female relatives off having babies too young, don’t let them meet this one! She’s got one hell of a grip, though. I’m lucky to be the only one in the house without long hair, because she just will not let go of it once she has it!

George Weasley
@leaveteealone 25 February 2002

The time you have been waiting for has nearly arrived! This Saturday will see the grand opening of the second branch of Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, right here in Helga’s Hill, on 13 Helga’s Hill road. For now Verity and I will be manning it, but we’ll be looking for permanent staff soon enough, so get in touch if you’re looking for work and you are cool, funny, smart, and awesome.

Special surprise gift for the first 20 people through the door, but don’t let that put you off.

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 26 February 2002

I feel like it wasn’t really a coincidence that my brother showed up at home last night when I was making some Welsh cakes. He ate about half and dozen and then took some more home with him so I teased him about being a bottomless pit. He’ll have to visit for St. David’s Day if he wants any more!

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 27 February 2002

Isn’t it a wonder how fear can make you lose your mind. How it’s possible to have a worst fear which, if one was thinking rationally, one would acknowledge has an infinitesimal chance of actually happening, and thus be not afraid. But no. One still is. Deathly so. What a wonder.

Though maybe it’s possible you just haven’t gone through all the options. Maybe you’ll have your worst fear and someone will name theirs and you’ll go “hang on a minute, that’s a million times more terrible.”

Let’s try it. Name some frightening things. I want variety.

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 27 February 2002

Working irregular hours is really bad for your health, did you know? I’ve half a mind to demand a new roster. I can’t take weeks upon weeks of night shift. It’s turning me to putty and making me consume too much junk food and turning my skin sallowish and hair lank which is the only reason why Emelda is not especially impressed.

I usually train alone but if the fitness centre had any good programs I’d consider joining.

Katie Bell
@heatproof 28 February 2002

Is it just me or has this town got through a whole month without any murders/arson/Imperiusing, or anyone dramatically confessing to/being accused of the former? Apart from the small detail of the murderer/arsonist/Imperiuser still being at large, it feels like life in Helga’s Hill is actually getting back to normal.