Badger Book

Mandy Brocklehurst
@callmemandy 1 July 2002

Private

~~this can’t be happening this can’t be happening this can’t be happening~~

he wouldn’t—
he lov—
he’s my Stephen

~~i just can’t~~

~~but he—~~

~~and the healers said that I’m—~~

~~this isn’t real. it can’t be.~~

Daphne Greengrass
@headtilt 1 July 2002

Warded to Sasha Capper

Does this mean that he killed Blaise too? The newspaper is useless and I need answers and I

I just miss him so much and I’m sorry but I can’t pretend that I don’t because I do, I really do

Portia Diggle
@portraying 1 July 2002

Apparently sometimes it is the most obvious suspect. Remind me again what the DMLE have been doing for the last year?

Sylvie Fawcett
@sylvie_fawcett 1 July 2002

I guess that galleon I found really was good luck.

Not only did they find the girl, but my boss is super impressed with the experimental charms work I’ve done lately. So much so that he’s been in contact with the French Ministry where some wizards are working on something similar and he thinks I should go to Paris and work with them and maybe make a real breakthrough in practical charms. And earn more money than I am now.

Given everything that’s happened, I can’t think of a better time to get out of this hellhole.

Susan Bones
@ambrosial 1 July 2002

Warded to Mandy Brocklehurst

Did you never
How could you not have

Hello. I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, and maybe I’m the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just wanted to say that no matter what happens over the next few months, I ~~have to~~ believe you knew nothing about this.

And… I’m sorry. If you do want to talk, or need company, or anything — we’re still friends. At least, I hope we are.

Zach Smith
@its_all_aboutme 2 July 2002

So there’s no more doubt now about the fact I didn’t really assault Cornfoot, yeah?

Except now I really fucking wish I had.

Louisa Macnair
@hedidntdoit 2 July 2002

Warded to Mandy Brocklehurst

I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling right now. Let me know if there’s anything I can do… I can get Ben out if you want to stop over, or just if you want to talk or anything. Or I could take you to my Mum’s and she can cook for us. She was in love with— well, she might understand how you’re feeling better than most.

Verity Weasley
@invinoverity 2 July 2002

I realize this may seen unimportant in the grand scheme of things right now but I am hot and sticky and gigantic and all I want is ice cream but I can’t have any and if this baby doesn’t get out of me soon I am going to completely lose my mind.

I do not feel like a miracle.

Lavender Brown
@solavish 3 July 2002

Is is true that Stephen chopped off three of Daisy’s fingers?! That is so fucked up! ~~I can’t believe I shagged him!~~

Mandy Brocklehurst
@callmemandy 3 July 2002

Warded to ~~Sylvi~~ Susan, Michael, & Eloise

I went to see him today. ~~He said he loved me and that that part was never a lie but he wouldn’t say anything else even when I asked him if~~ He didn’t deny any of it.

~~Part of me still hoped that it was all a mista~~

I’m pregnant.

George Weasley
@leaveteealone 5 July 2002

After a gruelling labour — and Tee didn’t look like she was enjoying it much either — I am proud to present to the world:

Baby bird!

Helena Emmeline Weasley

Verity Weasley
@invinoverity 5 July 2002

Shall I become one of those mothers who only talks about her baby and shares pictures of her constantly? I’m not sure.

Helena Weasley

She is pretty cute though…

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 5 July 2002

It wasn’t supposed to be like this!!!

It wasn't supposed to be like this!!!

Andrei Capper
@andreicapper 5 July 2002

Wales vs Ireland is going to be MASSIVE.

And I mean, it’s nice not to have an emotional stake in the game ~~as that only leads to pain and suffering~~. I can just enjoy it for the spectacle. I don’t know who’s going to win and I don’t care. But I think who wins that one is going to win the whole thing.

Maybe I could do half-half face paint.

Roni Smethley
@roni_smethley 5 July 2002

I still do not understand why Stephen killed his dad. Your parents are very important people. You would not exist without them.

Everything is sad.

Except the baby. That is happy.

Warded to Alexander Derrick

Hi. I know it is probably silly to write to you when we live together but I am not at homed right now. I’m in bath at the hospital. My parents were in an auto accident. The doctors told me they will be okay but they broke a lot of bones and it will probably be a long time before they are back to normal and I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to leave them and it’s not fair to just make Rina and Tanya take care of them.

I know I will not be home tonight at least so can you please feed Mystee for me?

Sally-Anne Perks
@highergrounds 7 July 2002

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUSAN!

Daisy Radford
@daisysdad 7 July 2002

Today is my mummy’s birthday! Daddy built her a special house for plants in the garden. She got all happy and cried.

I think the flower pot I painted with fairies for her is better though.

Mandy Brocklehurst
@callmemandy 7 July 2002

Warded to Maeve Quirke

Hello. I find myself in need of a Healer. I’m afraid that the press is still too interested in ~~Steph~~ my movements for me to be able to visit St Mungo’s discreetly, however. Would you be willing to perform a house call? I can pay.

Taliesyn Robards
@bookphile 7 July 2002

It’s my birthday in a week and a bit and Cary is housebound, Daisy is back safe, there is no more murderer in Helga’s Hill so I feel it might be OK. Of course many things could still go wrong but this is a good enough foundation.

I do hope Elliot and Henrietta have ~~stopped screaming at each other~~ ~~gone from a regular war back to a cold war~~ made up.

Tamara Crumb
@tamara_crumb 8 July 2002

Warded to ’00ers

That bit about my house being back on market? Not true.

Well, it was true, but Gid and I went over first thing to put in a bid for it.

It’s a dreadful mark-up and I should feel guilty about contributing to the defence fund of a murderer, but it was the first place I lived that truly felt like home to me, and at this point, we would have done anything to get it back. To raise Adelaide in her homeland like good Scottish parents. And to get away from my parents. ~~If I never see them again I honestly won’t compla~~

I’ll have to have you come visit when we’ve settled back in.

Warded to Susan

Sorry to spring this on you right after your birthday, but I’m going to be moving back to Scotland with my husband and daughter.

I know it’s not a big deal to Apparate from Aberdeen and I don’t want to leave you in a lurch, especially with Blodwen gone, so I am certainly willing to stay around until you find a replacement, but once you do, I think I’ll need to give my notice. It’s just… after everything that’s happened here, especially with Daisy, it was sort of a wake-up call that maybe for now I should be focusing on being a good mam more than a job.

But I want you to know it was an absolute pleasure to work at Heaven Scent, and I will definitely still be taking the trip here to buy your products. I couldn’t have asked for a better boss these past months. So thank you.

Seamus Finnigan
@rundaingne 8 July 2002

I’m surrounded by the Welsh, what have I ever done to deserve this.

Gwen Montgomery
@iamthelizzy 8 July 2002

TERIBUS YE TERI ODIN!!!!

Wales!

Isolde Montgomery
@iamthelydia 8 July 2002

IT’S OKAY, SEAMUS, I LOVE YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE IRISH AND YOU SHOULD COME BACK TO THE HOUSE AND SHAG ME BECAUSE IT’LL CHEER ME UP.

Heidi MacDonalds
@bravehearted 9 July 2002

HELP

I THINK I’M HALLUCINATING

Terence Higgs
@teehaitchhiggs 9 July 2002

Um, bad luck, Wales? Still, wow. Wow. Wow. (I was going to write a ‘wow’ for every goal Ireland scored but realised I’d run out of pages.)

Kinda glad England didn’t even make out of the group stages. Hey, it was sad at the time but at least not psychologically scarring.

Oliver Wood
@ok_cap 9 July 2002

Look what a fan made me. That’s pretty unique, I have to say! I’m really excited for the match tonight. It’ll certainly be the biggest of my career. A lot of keepers have really made a name for themselves in this tournament and while I wouldn’t count myself among them — thanks to our awesome Beaters, of course — it is kind of thrilling to think your personal efforts might swing a match.

LET’S GO SCOTLAND.

Oliver Wood

Orla Quirke
@saucywench 9 July 2002

I think I should conduct an extremely scientific experiment into the saying that sportsmen (and sportswomen, I’m not fussy) shouldn’t have sex before a big match because then they’ll play worse and potentially lose.

Obviously I’d need to collect a lot more data to make sure, but so far it looks like this saying is, in fact, rubbish.

Either that, or I’m Ireland’s lucky charm.

Amelia Higgs
@stillmisshiggs 10 July 2002

Here’s a tip: if you’re looking to buy a cottage to renovate, check out a property recently vacated by a serial killer and his hapless girlfriend. They’ll practically give it to you.

Dean Thomas
@deangerous 12 July 2002

This is a strange little village. Crime rates are drastically skewed by the actions of one man, hairdressers scream at each other in the streets, celebrities walk amongst us, and a Welshwoman can find solace in an Irishman’s arms after Ireland spectacularly thrash Wales’ arse at Quidditch.

Speaking of which, I think my work of cheering Seamus up is accomplished. Yes. I take credit for all of it. Issy did nothing. Yes. Anyway, I should probably stop hogging his sofa so he can have his girlfriend over from time to time without me being a gooseberry. I quite like this strange little village, though. Anyone looking for a flatmate?

Alex Derrick
@ourshadypast 12 July 2002

Warded to Humphrey Winfield-Hayes

Roni’s gone. Her parents were hurt and she has to go take care of them, so I think she’s gone for, well, a long time. Maybe for good. I can’t keep up the rent on this place so… can I crash on your sofa for a bit? Until… ah shit, I’m going to need to find myself a proper job or something, aren’t I? I’m not going to be able to find another landlord as gullible as the last one.

Audrey Singh
@esfp 12 July 2002

Warded to Percy, AJ & Sally-Anne

I think I’d like to move out. Is that a terrible idea?

Ben Macnair
@hesstillmydad 12 July 2002

Warded to Tristan Montgomery

~~Do you want to go on holiday with me? Is this too obvious? We’re friends, friends go on holiday, right? Right? Oh crap.~~

Hey. It’s been quite a year, and I need a break. I’ve still got that money Terence gave me a while back, so I thought I might use it for a holiday. Do you want to come? I’ll pay, well, Terence will pay anyway. We could go anywhere you want. ~~Please.~~

Mandy Brocklehurst
@callmemandy 12 July 2002

Warded to Eloise Midgen

I need to be seen by a Healer but I don’t want to go to Mungo’s and I don’t want my parents to know. Would it be all right if I met Maeve Quirke in your flat on Tuesday evening?

I know it is an imposition, but I just need a little space before ~~I decide~~ anyone else finds out.

George Weasley
@leaveteealone 13 July 2002

Apparently having a newborn infant is interfering with my usual religious consumption of Witch Weekly magazine, as I only picked it up today whilst using my Mum’s loo. Did anyone else read the article about Gideon Crumb’s house being back on the market? The journalist was very excited about it. So excited, in fact, that I suspect the offices of Witch Weekly are in fact a hotbed of sexual depravity, and she was using a personal massager from Quills and Things whilst she wrote it. I mean, I can sympathise. I think if I had a boring job like that, where I had to feign interest in celebrities every day, I’d probably come up with ways to keep myself entertained too. Admittedly, mine would be more like pranking my boss, but still. Whatever floats your boat.

Louisa Macnair
@hedidntdoit 13 July 2002

I think I’m going to run out of money soon. I had a job interview on Friday, but if I don’t get it, I’m probably going to have to take another retail job.

I hate retail.

Seamus Finnigan
@rundaingne 14 July 2002

don’t talk to me I have the worst hangover known to man and I have to open the bar for Da tonight because Bren’s even worse off

Orla Quirke
@saucywench 14 July 2002

Rory

Friends don’t let friends get tattoos of shamrocks on their arse.

Ernie Macmillan
@topgeek 15 July 2002

My father is inconsolable but I’m all right, thanks for asking. Congrats, Ireland. A worthy final and a worthy winner.

Onto more important things — has anyone else noticed that Calliope Heights is still going forward? I don’t know how it can possibly continue with the developer awaiting trial ~~and probably going to Azkaban for the rest of his life~~.

Christian Cavanaugh
@vocalisation 15 July 2002

Not to perpetuate stereotypes about either the North or the South, but the World Cup celebrations were quite something.

Warded to Stella Chambers

When are you back? I wouldn’t dream of having my housewarming without you.

Charlie Weasley
@dragonulrosu 17 July 2002

Warded to Lavender Brown

My paperwork is so boring today. What’s new in the world of fashion?

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 17 July 2002

Warded to Taliesyn Robards

Happy birthday, cariad.

I’m looking forward to seeing you later for cake. And maybe a present or two if you’re on your best behaviour!

Alex Derrick
@ourshadypast 20 July 2002

Humph’s living room is too bright. Fuck you, rainbow shots, and fuck the pretty girls peddling them last night.

I need hair of the dog.

Ben Macnair
@hesstillmydad 20 July 2002

Alright, who’s ready to spot some badgers? Daisy Radford, I am going to beat you this year. I have my badger-spotting glasses all ready.

Romilda Vane
@loverommie 30 July 2002

Just two more weekends at the Grotto and then… that’s it. I can’t quite decide how I feel about this right now. It’s like leaving part of myself behind! But I can’t say I’m upset at the prospect of only having one job ~~and a huge thesis~~.